Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
My first real break was when my college sketch troupe, The State, was asked to contribute pieces for a new MTV show called 'You Wrote It, You Watch It.'
To have longevity in this business, you have to reinvent yourself. You can't keep doing the same stuff. Sometimes I've turned down stuff and lost money.
Why did we get together? Because God wanted us to do it. We were just trying to do what God wants us to do. We didn't feel like we had much of a choice.
I hate dreaming because when you want to sleep, you want to sleep. Dreaming is work. Next thing you know, I have to build a go-cart with my ex-landlord.
I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.
I have a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my hotel door. It's time to go to "Don't Disturb". It's been "Do Not" for too long. We should embrace the contraction.
In true, narcissistic fashion, when my father was diagnosed as a narcissist, he called us all up individually to tell us, and he did it with true pride.
I find that I like what I like. I like a strong melody, I like an inventive structure and I have to like the singer's voice or I have no interest in it.
With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
I don't do drugs. Because my grandmother raised me. I think like an old, black, Southern woman. If I'd have done coke, I'd probably be cooking pancakes.
A friend told me to listen to my heart. Another friend told me to listen to my gut. Maybe I need an autopsy, because right now my colon is kind of iffy.
Nothing would make me happier if Peter Falk would finally win his Oscar for this. Not just as the writer but as a fan and a friend. It would be so great
You know, the fact that every morning you get a script in your mailbox, that's going to stop. All these little pedestrian, mundane things. And the cash.
But I really felt that, something about the lights going down, and the sense of community. I saw this movie at one festival, and there were 1700 people.
I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.
Traffic: Sit there. Sit. Occasionally move your foot from the brake and crawl forward, then put it back. That's all you do for hours. It's very calming.
There are things I believe in to a certain extent, as much as a scientist would. And I like, through the means of entertainment, to explore those ideas.
Two things people throughout history have had in common are hatred and humour. I am proud that I have been able to use humour to lessen people's hatred.
Growing up, the most important thing, after taking care of your family and getting a decent job of work, was having a laugh. That was the point to life.
It's the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo. If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be completely different.
If you pay attention to good critics, you have to listen to the bad. So you have to ignore them all really. You can't just cherry pick the glowing ones.
I stand by 'I'm not going to do 'The Office' again.' That would be weird: all the same people sitting at the same desks at a paper merchant's in Slough.
I am myself sometimes, and I do state my opinions, but not in a comedy routine and not in my character. There always has to be some sort of layer to it.
He likes 'Confetti,' and he doesn't like 'Star Wars.' I think that just relieves us from the burden of ever having to take Mark Kermode seriously again.
The way people imagine their political leaders is, like it or not, an important factor in how they decide to vote and, indeed, whether they vote at all.
My sex life is terrible; my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
In any great art, you create a world, and you invite people into that world, and hopefully, it's fleshed out enough and you've explained it well enough.
I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion.
when michael jackson died i wonder if his life flashed before him and if it did, i wonder if he thought 'who's that little black kid singing my songs?!'
We live in a world where in the movie you can disembowel someone in a youth hostel in Romania, but you can't show people having sex. I think it's weird.
To me, always just - that scene is, like, so convenient. They never run out of bullets in action movies, unless it's at the most dramatic time possible.
This s - t [smoked on scenes] called Wizard Smoke. I didn't like it. [James] Franco didn't have that hard of a time with it. Franco will smoke anything.
While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun.
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
In indie rock, there's the phenomenon of: "Oh, this guy seems totally normal, but he's actually crazy." There's more of that out there than you'd think.
When an individual changes in even a small way he immediately changes the world around him. And that concentric circle moves out and changes everything.
It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
That's pretty much why I went into show business because I wanted to have a guitar and sing unaccompanied, that was like my fantasy of the perfect life.
I eat eight bags of chips in one sitting, and then nothing for a day or two. I learned that my body thought it was starving, so it would hold on to fat.
You know you can be having a bad day and someone will walk by and say: 'Hey, I love you, Will.' That really cheers you up. That's a really lovely thing.
In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
We did a book signing and people came up to me. There was an expectant mother who was like, "I think we might name our child Zach because of your work."
The thing to do is just make sure that as part of a disability community, we're not isolating ourselves by drawing differences for the sake of progress.
There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
I have other careers in terms of stand-up, stage acting and writing, so I don't feel too hidebound by that, but I do quite like playing those warm roles.
Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says, 'live people ignore the strange and unusual. I, myself, am strange and unusual.
I'm an omnivore, although I am trying to eat less meat. I went vegetarian for about two years, then I suddenly got a craving one morning and that was it.
I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Many of us go from being taken care of as children to taking care of others as adults. Shouldn't there be a time when we learn to take care of ourselves?
This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.