Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white.
To me it's a mystery that you can show the horrific things in the movies, but not some sexual stuff which everyone does.
I don't make the best movies in the world, but at times, I do feel like I'm adding something to the cinematic community.
I'm not entirely comfortable saying I'm an actor, because it seems like a very weird, almost dorky thing to say you are.
Fish deserve to be caught for they are lazy. Two million years of evolution and they still haven't got out of the water.
As disabled people, we are taught from a young age that those who are attracted to us are to be regarded with suspicion.
The purpose of our justice system is to reflect the values of our society and to punish those who violate our standards.
When we understand every single secret of the universe, there will still be left the eternal mystery of the human heart.
Atheism is not just about not believing there is a God, but on the assumption that there is one, what kind of God is he?
All we have to do is listen. The Good Lord gave us two ears and only one mouth, my dear white-headed mother used to say.
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
I've got a soft spot for Theatr Colwyn because my granddad used to run the Colwyn amateur dramatic society in the 1930s.
Two conditions that warrant someone's unconditional devotion: 1. Save their life 2. Help them move a pillow top mattress
I love doing the show more than anything. It's truly the most satisfying thing creatively that I've ever had in my life.
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
[On her monologue as the thief 'Fontaine':] People always got things. People always want things. So I provide a service.
Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.
I can't talk politics with my cousin because he's such a hypocrite. He's against the death penalty and he hanged himself.
It seemed fun to play a villain on stage and I wanted my jokes to be so good that I could just calmly tell them on stage.
One time I was really close to Steve Martin. I was too afraid to actually go talk to him, but I'll count that as meeting.
Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
I hate all those celebrity sculptures like Tussauds, where everyone is dressed in spangly suits and they are all smiling.
Now, with the success of musical comedy like the Mighty Boosh, Flight of the Conchords and Bo Burnham, I feel vindicated.
God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.
The way to encourage people to be accountable is to engage the responsible, accountable, trustworthy part of their brain.
When we take no responsibility for any aspect of our past, we limit our ability to respond in the present and the future.
I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards.
All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.
I...am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light...in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?
Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
Gingrich is the "foremost intellectual" in the Republican party like Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in "Kiss".
When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
Intellectually, I think everyone really knows that women are funny, but it's a weird thing that people keep trotting out.
People ask me a lot like, "Hey, so when are you done with your tour?" Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.
I hate dates. I sit at home all day, and I don't fart once. I go on a date and I've got twenty in the bank straight away.
Guys like Rogan literally want to ruin my career. That's unbelievably cruel and hurtful, and I never want to be that guy.
My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention.
Remember that the successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person.
Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.