Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
The problem with righteous indignation is that even when you're right, you're still left feeling indignant.
Creating a meaningful life has less to do with how we feel about our past than what we do about our future.
And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it.
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair.
One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs.
A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
I always wanted to work with Betty White, because she is one of my heroes of all time, and I just love her.
I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
People see technology as something that will ruin society and culture, but I've always embraced technology.
I feel like so much of why I sort of want to work in television is so that people know to come see me live.
Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.
My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!
I'm of the generation of kids where the G.I. Joe's developed Kung Fu Grip right around the same time I did.
I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
My favorite thing to steal is a kiss. You can get arrested for it but they can't force you to give it back.
I haven't put much effort into my personal life and blithely believe it will turn out all right in the end.
I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.
Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break, But Batteries... They Die.
A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'
We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.
I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.
I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.
You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.
Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
The Cowboy's defense has more holes in it than Ronny Milsapp and Jose Feliciano after a game of lawn darts.
When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.
The highlight of my career was being at the inaugural gala of Ronald Reagan, and I owe that to Mr. Sinatra.
I don't say I was the first, because, who knows, maybe there was a guy out in Minnesota doing it before me.
The better alternative to fighting a guy, go have sex with his girlfriend. That's how you knock a dude out!
President Reagan is a lot like E.T. He's cute, he's lovable, and he knows nothing about how Americans live.
I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot.
The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
There are only two types of motorists: the idiots who drive slower than me, and the lunatics who go faster.
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.
When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows; there's just nothing special about their content.
I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.
I wanna open a Jamaican/Irish/Spanish small plate breakfast restaurant and call it Tapas the Morning to Ja.
My wife doesn't cook, so we eat out every night. It's not fine dining or anything - we're not fancy people.
It is difficult for people to appreciate their own laughter unless you show them some pathos along the way.
I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.
Obama called on Americans to have more grandchildren. Probably so there's more of them to pay off our debt.