Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of "Yeah, we might have to reboot."
I always liked records that didn't explain themselves too well - ones that you had to listen a few times.
If you look at the Bible as a whole, it's redemptive and beautiful, and it's God's love story to mankind.
I learned to use language like my mother did. I would simulcast, give you the program in your own tongue.
My mom used to get arrested for being with my dad. She would get fined. She would spend weekends in jail.
Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
I have a very diverse crowd from old, young, black, white, straight, gay. It's a little bit of everybody.
You don't want to think something might be racist, but it might be, because your gut is telling you it is
If every American donated five hours a week, it would equal the labor of 20 million full-time volunteers.
You can never walk a mile in someone elses shoes, but you can walk a mile in your own and be proud of it.
I'm quite a curious person. I don't mind being the one who doesn't know things, a role I often play in QI.
I feel sorry for many politicians we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not.
I don't like conservatives. They always talk about the good old days. I'm black, we have no good old days.
Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest.
Every Sunday my dad calls to ask if I went to church. And every Sunday I lie and say: Sorry. Wrong Number.
Initially, the best thing about being in L.A. was the girls - they loved me. It was like being a pop star.
Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
[Nazi] copied stuff from us for their "final solution" but we get to walk around like we're the good guys.
Reunited with strawberry, raspberry and blueberry, I am berry, berry happy to be back working with JELL-O.
People say to me, 'Do you know who you look like?' And I say, 'I'm really tired of looking like that guy.'
Our success and happiness depends not on simply knowing where we stand, but in where we are wanting to go.
My favorite road trip ever is when my wife and I took an RV around the country. We just had the best time.
I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us...to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?
Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
Don't vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under.
Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do.
Without arts programmes there's only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
I started out as a very traditional actor. The first thing I ever did in terms of performance was singing.
I've always liked the format of YouTube, sharing things for free, which is a nice exchange between people.
I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.
I'll stop when I think I'm not doing good stuff. I'll never exploit something just because people like it.
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
Be adaptable, flexible and never stop learning. The rate of change will never stop and neither should you.
Our first gig was a battle of the bands. We did 45 minutes of comedy and never played a note - and we won!
I got a vibrator that needed two nine volt batteries. What am I - R2D2? I don't know what to do with that.
Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.
If you have to work at McDonald's, good for you. But on a side note, good luck with the rest of your life.
Nothing is more American than stuffing your face with loaded potato skins while drinking loaded mudslides.
You can't throw money at the Internet to make it work - it really is all about the quality of the content.
Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa.
We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.
After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.