Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I would love for the world to be happier.
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
An art thief is a man who takes pictures.
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
You've got to keep moving, keep creating.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Budget: a way of going broke methodically
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
I do not enjoy when people don't like me.
The term 'celebrity' makes my skin crawl.
It will feel boring when you're bingeing.
My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.
How many airports are there in the world?
I operate off of fear almost exclusively.
I want a man in my life, not in my house.
I'm nearly see-through. Like a jellyfish.
Not Going Out' is what I'm most proud of.
I look at every book as a self-help book.
I was married once before, and I stopped.
I don't like pot anymore -- I forget why.
I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human.
A snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.
The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.
An audience can become a mob very easily.
I laughed all the way through Love Story.
I think basically an actor is a salesman.
An audience can be like a pack of wolves.
Everyone carries around his own monsters.
I no longer believe in freedom of speech.
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
It takes a lot to become a foster parent.
I'm lucky not to have a nine-to-five job.
But happiness is no respecter of persons.
My father was all brain and little heart.
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
I was once arrested for resisting arrest.
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
I don't want my life to just be about me.
I'm not very good when I'm given scripts.
Nobody hates hipsters more than hipsters.
I don't have a big hang-up about my body.
Time management is the mantra of my life.
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.