Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.
I like football. I like baseball. When the pitcher and the batter start fighting, that's the best.
To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain.
The secret to my success is that I bit off more than I could chew and I chewed as fast as I could.
I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
My mom wanted me to be a youth pastor, and when I became a comedian, she said it was close enough.
There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.
I like interesting casting, and casting people who you think might be slightly different in parts.
I want to raise awareness about evils perpetuated on American citizens by other American citizens.
Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!
I guess the most interesting thing that people think is I'm English [because of The Mighty Boosh].
The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?
There is an obesity epidemic. One out of every three Americans... weighs as much as the other two.
No one wants to see cool people doing brilliantly. I want to see the struggle. That's the fun bit.
I never had a plan. I just sort of ambled along, doing exactly what I wanted every day of my life.
I do the Golden Globes because they say I can say what I want. I wouldn't have that at the Oscars.
Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
And it never, ever was interpreted that the Second Amendment meant individual's right to bear arms
I am lucky to have good Polish skin that doesn't wrinkle so I might be around for a few years yet.
Fear travels fast. Love travels a little more slowly. Rationale takes a little more consideration.
I do have a regard for the musicality of language that came from BBC sitcoms like 'Fawlty Towers.'
Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that's how I view the world.
Growing up in the '60s and the '70s, things certainly seemed more simplistic and easier to digest.
I would be dishonorable in a relationship because I wasn't getting what I wanted from that person.
I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved.
I've got genuine political reasons for not voting for David Cameron. He's got a tiny little mouth.
Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?
The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.
Disability is often framed, in medical terms, as the ultimate disaster and certainly as a deficit.
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."
I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
Sometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
It's so hard to do the right thing with a pen and a piece of paper and a set of abstract thoughts.
Sarah: That's not fair! Jareth: You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is?
My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.
Once you reject evidence as a source of knowledge, you don't gotta believe nothin' you don't like.
Musicians can travel all over the world and have an audience, because there's no language barrier.
They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it.
The problem is, we have yet to convince the Taliban they are fellow passengers on spaceship Earth.
It's very easy for me to play silly, but to reveal something closer to you, that's so much harder.