Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
I don't wear my faith on my sleeve, but I definitely do walk with it every day in my heart.
I feel like love is the thing we were created for, yet it's the place we struggle the most.
I didn't marry a man that wanted to be in the business. But that's why we're a perfect fit.
I have more energy to run after our four children. Weight loss and great skin were a bonus!
I think girls in general need to be more complimentary... It just makes people feel better.
I'm all for ERA. I want to see women equal to men - not so damn superior like they've been.
Why do Canadians like to do it doggie style? So they can both keep watching the hockey game
Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!
I don't have to meet actors. I'm really blessed that I don't have to do all that horseshit.
Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.
I think Jaws is one of those movies that, if it is on, I will watch it until it's finished.
I have a hernia scar from when I was a kid. I had a hernia when I was like in fourth grade.
A woman can tell me about her having a baby, but I'll never know what it is to have a baby.
I can eat beef, provided it's minced in disguise. I couldn't eat a gammon steak. Forget it.
Every time I see Peter Falk in the movie I think that would be great. We'd be fun together.
I used to just want so badly to have afterlife insured and make sure I was going to heaven.
Losing your faith is an essential part of having a three-dimensional, vivid, vibrant faith.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Being a comedian is probably the only job apart from undertaking that isn't age restricted.
I'm a dirty, filthy animal and I'm a dirty comedian, but I got a lot of charisma and charm.
Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, 'Who do you think you are?'
The idea of experimenting with machines to create art was always something I tinkered with.
Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.
A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
To be paid, to be employed to be an enthusiast and be excited about existence is fantastic.
If every man was as true to his country as he was to his wife, we'd be in a lot of trouble.
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
I tell ya, with my wife, I got no sex life. Her favorite position is facing Bloomingdale's.
I'd like to see people worry less about their inner child and more about their outer adult.
I couldn't imagine doing a show where I'd once again have to answer to corporate interests.
The teachers in America need to be applauded every day because they save the lives of kids!
When you're married, it's one person. That's one more than a monk. It's not that different.
Gay pride's beautiful. If somebody needs to be expressing that, then it's a positive thing.
Self esteem and a healthy body image for people with disabilities are so often hard-fought.
I'm a full-time wheelchair user. And yet, given the right circumstances, I am able to work.
Let's not forget that the Paralympics, just like the Olympics, are built on a rich history.
Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers.
Because, let's face it, I do not get offered the parts that Brad Pitt has just turned down.
I now accept that it is looking increasingly likely that Tiger Woods is, in fact, straight.
You can love food without being a cook. Equally, you can love food and be a very good cook.
I belong to a gym now... well, let me rephrase that: I don't belong there at all, but I go.
That's the incredible thing about 'Matilda': it keeps manifesting itself in different ways.
Trying to work out where you find meaning and sense in a meaningless world is my obsession.
In the ‘looks of disappointment’ department, my cat has picked up where my father left off.
I'm recovering from a cold. I'm so full of penicillin that, if I sneeze, I'll cure someone.
In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.