Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I grew up worshipping Pee-wee Herman.
Where are all the sour patch parents?
Music is really, really mathematical.
Your ignorance cramps my conversation
My father was a huge influence on me.
I find teenage girls endlessly funny.
God bless America. And no place else.
Jealousy - the Auschwitz of emotions.
Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?
We're careful not to saturate people.
Horse racing is waning in popularity.
I never pay any attention to figures.
There are no air conditioners in Hell
Baseball been berry berry good to me!
Surround yourself with what you love.
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Cancer research is a growth industry.
I can never do nothing in this house!
One, two, ... five!" "Three, my lord.
I hope they bury me near a strait man
Go, and never darken my towels again.
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
I vote for whoever will annoy my dad.
Ambition beats genius 99% of the time
You can be passionate about anything.
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
Economy is essential to all good art.
I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil.
I always wake up at the crack of ice.
I love Little Mix, and I always have.
Sex and obscenity are not synonymous.
Mustard's no good without roast beef.
MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!
You can't direct without a good crew.
People don't talk to me on airplanes.
I love New York. I love working here.
In real life, comedians aren't funny.
I love Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel.
'Terminator 2' is so good. I love it.
I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.
I can read minds, but I'm illiterate.
Even the best weeks start with monday
No means yes in grasshopper language.
I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.
I'm not used to getting good reviews.
A problem shared is attention gained.
I'm a fan of old vaudeville theaters.
Just remember, everything you are is.