Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm writing a movie script about vampires with an animator called Michael Booth.
A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.
I'm afraid if I start to enjoy life, the rug will be yanked out from beneath me.
Anything you can do that's self-destructive in Vegas, whatever that is, I do it.
No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.
Nobody with a victim mentality will get anywhere. Ever. They will never succeed.
[On being lesbian:] One pointer: don't come out to your dad in a moving vehicle.
The more you mess with texture and colour, the worse your hair is going to feel.
If I've got a confidence problem, it's that my self-esteem is entirely too high.
It's always been my favourite show and I am on a mission to get on 'Doctor Who.'
In British sitcoms, you can get five minutes of nothing before the story starts.
Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare.
I had an iPhone and a Droid and both of them were miserable pieces of equipment.
I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.
I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.
You can't avoid pain in life. It's how you handle pain, that's what defines you.
On some level any appearance on Television can be seen as a product endorsement.
As long as we're honest and not mean, it's all fair game no matter what you say.
My dad goes through war novels like I go through boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "I'll just get a tan instead."
One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes.
I used to go to two movies every week for the Saturday matinee when I was a kid.
I make an all right Bowie. Actually, I look more like Cilla Black with that wig.
Alice: I don’t love you anymore. Goodbye. Dan: Since when? Alice: Now. Just now.
I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
I was Popeye mad when I was a kid, and I'd eat spinach until the cows came home.
Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.
Sesame Street... I think they were all high. With Big Bird, they had to be high.
As a man seeing someone, have a decision: You can be correct or you can be glad.
Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!
Gandhi, who went to Wendy's and asked, "Where's the belief?" Never got a dinner!
A lot of times, in music especially, it's producers making a political decision.
For those of you who don't know who I am, I played Natalie on The Facts of Life.
My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.
Being attached to America these days is like being in a pen with a wounded bull.
It's a brave new world. I'm 42 years old. I certainly wasn't out in high school.
I think what makes us human is those choices - whether to tell the truth or not.
I have always tended toward extremism: I'm Motorhead rather than REO Speedwagon.
I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?