Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I never thought about being famous.
Greetings and death to our enemies.
Are there glass shards in my anus?!
I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool.
Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!
My generation is under-entertained.
People only have so much attention.
I never went out looking for glory.
Violence is a tool of the ignorant.
Bombing Syria will achieve nothing.
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
Women should be obscene, not heard.
I love being a dad. I just love it.
My comedy is romanticized laziness.
I am a degenerate, and I know that.
All comedy comes from a dark place.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
I want to perform an unnatural act.
Usually I'm too tired to apologize.
I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.
When in doubt, resort to animation.
A thing of beauty is a job forever.
Why are there no "during" pictures?
I don't think fascism is dying for.
Arizona has always been anti-black.
Times are hard and friends are few.
I'm pretty bad at seeing new films.
I've never said flange to a monkey!
I would just like to be remembered.
I DJ and I'm a harsh critic of DJs.
I had a lot of depression as a kid.
I'm hoping I don't get Alzheimer's.
I'm a complete coward in real life.
I was bruised, but I wasn’t broken.
God made nightButMan made darkness.
Day One: Still tired from the move.
I'm so in love with David Dimbleby.
I don't consider myself an educator.
I'm always alone. Sad face emoticon.
A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear.
Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.
Humanity is just a virus with shoes.
False hope really makes you cynical.
Germs do not have a political party.
A fart is just your arse applauding.
Don't vote, it only encourages them.