Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Does killing time damage eternity?
Pardon me I've got nothing to say.
The coke made me incredibly horny.
Mother's milk leads to everything.
I'm forever a part of pop culture.
But what makes wage slaves? Wages!
TV is the rat race of the century.
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
I only got into comedy to get laid
I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!
I don't like to joke about dating.
I'm the queen of outside speakers.
I'm not a big fan of young people.
I don't like any female comedians.
It's so much easier to be cynical.
Misery is wasted on the miserable.
Life is full of horrible mistakes.
Jim Henson was an absolute genius.
I consider Lena Dunham a comedian.
I used to be a dusty little child.
If you can't join them, beat them.
I don't love you anymore. Goodbye.
I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
I want to be able to make a movie.
My parents were my worst audience.
I don't do anything for the money.
I also do a lot of Kundalini yoga.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
How can there be self-help groups?
I'm a good cook, but I can't bake.
Love without evidence is stalking.
I always wanted to be on a sitcom.
Never give a sucker an even break.
I don't really think in absolutes.
I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
I'm a have-a-go dad. I like babies.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Contentment is knowing you're right
I love to watch birds and wildlife.
Podcasting is great. Total freedom.
Every romance does not lead to sex.
I've said all that I've had to say.
Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.
I love my mom! You can too for $12!
I never expected to live this long.
You can't suppress Bodily Functions
The important thing is to be drunk.
MTV is known for their huge budget.
It's so important, people laughing.
Thank God I have the right friends.