Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I want people to know there is more to Somalia than looting and piracy.
Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.
Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.
Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.
My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Swiss Cheese is a rip-off It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.
I think it's naïve to think white people aren't singing along directly!
With '3 Mics', there's nothing I'm talking about that's too hot button.
I love 'Frontline.' It's the best TV show in the history of television.
Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.
It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.
A man's enemies are those he should endeavor first to make his friends.
Sex doesn't have to be taught. It's something most of us are born with.
The most used appliance in our house is my 10-year-old son Leon's Xbox.
I see the absurdity in things, and I think it's my job to point it out.
I'm so Southern that I'm related to myself. I'm actually my own cousin.
There's a big difference between being racist and racially insensitive.
Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
My performance level has risen - and my anxiety-level has sky-rocketed.
I see people as the nucleus of a great idea that hasn't come to be yet.
I don't think humans are meant to be looked at when we're buying pants.
Let's be honest here: Twitter, for me, is 90 per cent a marketing tool.
If I've only got a career if I bring David Brent back, you can have it.
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
I am a feminist. I don't especially care for the term, but there it is.
My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
Imagine the wisdom to be passed down from the classical Buddhist texts.
I don't like doing things badly, that just feels like a waste of a day.
What do you know when you're 19? I was just stomping around doing gigs.
Who I am on stage is just an amped up version of who I am in real life.
I'm a comedian, and my comedy has never endorsed violence towards gays.
It's up to couples, to individuals, to have a trust between each other.
My mom's a social worker, and my dad works in non-profit organisations.
To me all men are boy-men. I don't know any man that's actually mature.
Personally, I like a generous side of wheelchair access with my cities.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people in the world?
How can I tell you what I think until I've heard what I'm going to say?
Part of life is learning what to be ashamed of and what to be proud of.
I don't watch TV. I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'
So what if I can't spell Armaggedon? ... it's not the end of the world.