Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.
Becoming the new feminine ideal requires just the right combination of insecurity, exercise, bulimia and surgery.
Sometimes I'm convinced that one day I'm going to draw the cartoon that offends everyone, and that'll be the end.
The laughter of man is more terrible than his tears, and takes more forms hollow, heartless, mirthless, maniacal.
Walt Kelly was much more interested in allegory and politics, and I'm much more interested in metaphors and myth.
I don't go for the nouvelle approach - serving a rabbit rump with coffee extract sauce and a slice of kiwi fruit.
I really enjoy when I'm asked questions that leap from the physical world and the material world into our hearts.
At the center of everything we call 'the arts,' and children call 'play,' is something which seems somehow alive.
Not being able to sleep is terrible. You have the misery of having partied all night... Without the satisfaction.
The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.
Lisa: 'Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?' Homer: 'Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.'
When I was a boy, my own dad told me in a smiling and wistful way that it's a wise man that knows his own father.
In Brooklyn, I don't feel that I'm holding up people with briefcases if I catch a stroller wheel in the sidewalk.
Well, I am not 100 percent sure of the definition of polemic, but it wasn't meant to convince anybody of anything.
I'm sometimes sort of in touch with the readership, and they seem to have perceptive questions, for the most part.
I want to know about life! I want some real answers..." "Five." "Five?!" "I thought that was a pretty good answer!
I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.
The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody's guess.
The laughter of man is more terrible than his tears, and takes more forms -hollow, heartless, mirthless, maniacal.
Though statisticians in our time have never kept the score, Man wants a great deal here below and Woman even more.
I will say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that is more than I can say for prosperity.
You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
Warning signs that lover is bored: 1. Passionless kisses 2. Frequent sighing 3. Moved, left no forwarding address.
I think men were destined to become homemakers. After all, who ever heard of "Ms. Clean" or the "Woman from Glad"?
On the one hand you take life too seriously, and on the other, you do not take playful existence seriously enough.
The only purpose of starting is to finish, and while the projects we do are never really finished, they must ship.
Ive spent my whole life working in a medium that was regarded with contempt largely because of historical reasons.
Any idiot that wants to make a couple of thousand drawings for a hundred feet of film is welcome to join the club.
No one would have been invited to dinner so often as Jesus was unless he were interesting and had a sense of humor.
One moment, please... We interrupt our regular program to bring you this special bulletin: It's a nice day outside.
Today is my grandfather's birthday." "How old is he?" "Sixty-three. It's hard to believe he was once a human being.
Trying to get your sexual partner to make a monogamous commitment to you is not a loving thing to do; it's selfish.
I can only try to keep the characters interesting; it's up to the readers to decide whether they're still relevant.
Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear end collision.
Great chefs know it's the appearance of food that counts...but great eaters know its the amount of food that counts
No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
The minute you understand racism, you're responsible for being racist. It's like eating from the tree of knowledge.
For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin.
Governments are not running the show anymore. Scumbag Entrepreneurs are, and they have a harsh and ruthless agenda.
You don't have to be a Fundamentalist Christian to be interested in the Bible. It's really a fascinating mythology.
I think maybe to survive, I mean to just get through the day - I'm not saying that everything is hilariously funny.
Extraordinary benefits accrue to the tiny minority of people who are able to push just a tiny bit longer than most.
I don't like drawing characters facing right. If I tried to do that at a book signing, I'd have to pencil it first.
My kids hear me behind my door, giggling like an idiot, and they roll their eyes at the blatant indignity of it all.
It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a scream pierced the air'. . . . Good writing takes enormous concentration.
Humor and pathos, tears and laughter are, in the highest expression of human character and achievement, inseparable.
Humor is such a wonderful thing, helping you realize what a fool you are but how beautiful that is at the same time.
I'm a fan of animation and so, the more stuff that doesn't look like the other stuff that's out there, I'm in favor.
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.
For me, drawing was an outlet. No one in school said, 'Oh, she can do sports,' or, 'She's pretty,' but I could draw.