Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
All of earth's creatures have, hidden within their beings, a wild uncontrollable urge to punt!
I'm always hiding the books in my closet, and my art's always turned upside down in my drawer.
North American leftists just keep trying to relive the '60s, or to make the '60s happen again.
I never liked my own species. On why so many of his comics are about animals, in an interview.
The paths of glory at least lead to the Grave, but the paths of duty may not get you Anywhere.
Man Of Steel looks great, is well cast, and is, moralistically, completely rotten to the core.
I prefer the Chinese method of eating.... You can do anything at the table except arm wrestle.
I probably get more inspiration for human stories and idiosyncrasies than I do animal stories.
Death is a part of life ... and that part of life needs everything that the rest of life does.
Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?
There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.
There ought t'be some way t'eat celery so it wouldn't sound like you wuz steppin' on a basket.
I know it sounds crazy, but I have had far more connection with my parents after their deaths.
It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than parents have.
Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing.
I have not much love for the bright lights - unless it's the sun creeping up over the horizon.
It makes me so desperately sad to witness just how unforgivably wretched our world has become.
Basically, I learned to read by reading 'Peanuts,' just wanting to know what they were saying.
I never consciously do any work directly influenced from any movie, unless I'm doing a parody.
Patton was living in the Dark Ages. Soldiers were peasants to him. I didn't like that attitude.
I'm more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now.
Breaking up: It's so easy to return their possessions, but so hard to get our brain cells back.
Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.
A cartoonist is someone who has to draw the same thing day after day without repeating himself.
Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.
Doing something stupid once is just plain stupid. Doing something stupid twice is a philosophy.
I've never taken any issue off the table for lack of suitability. Only for lack of imagination.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.
No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson
I Have traveled 201 countries including Hell (Norway), and the strangest thing I've seenwas man
I think I'm afraid of being happy because whenever I get too happy something bad always happens.
I love the medium and I love individual comics, but the business is nothing I would be proud of.
It would be amazing to tell my grandchildren, like, 'Yeah, I was paid to sharpen 1,000 pencils.'
No male can beat a female in the long run because they have it over us in sheer, damn longevity.
Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them.
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.
All cartoonists are linked together in the world - it's our language, one we can communicate in.
I live in constant fear of being fired or dropped for that dark part of my work I can't control.
But I married a guy who treated me very badly, but I was happy. I was miserable, so I was happy.
Violence begets violence, and then you get leaders who are violent men. And you don't want that.
I have been married three times and it just keeps better and better, but I'm going to stop here.
Freedom isn't the ability to do whatever you want. It's the willingness to do whatever you want.
Take a chance on your own abilities clearly, neither exaggerating them nor under-assessing them.
Giving your team cover for their cowardice is foolish. Give them a platform for bravery instead.
Americans are not terribly intelligent people. They need to read important things several times.
I ignore Hallmark Holidays. And this comes from a guy who has sold a million Opus greeting cards.
I've certainly played games that provoked a real emotional response or serious thought processes.