Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
(Cartoon caption:) I never really rallied after the birth of my first child.
A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.
Always watch the hands. The hands will tell you everything you need to know.
No matter how old you are, there's always something good to look forward to.
Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons." --Mr. Burns
How to Tell a Good Pair of Shoes: Do you like them? Then they're good shoes.
Tell me about yourself - your struggles, your dreams, your telephone number.
I'd love to do a whole series of stories and have them collected into books.
People do not buy goods and services. They buy relations, stories and magic.
When I say 'friends,' I use that term loosely, as I don't actually have any.
People are always making rules for themselves and always finding loop-holes.
OF COURSE I'd like to be the ideal mother. But I'm too busy raising children.
The biggest change in my life is that I now have to apologize for being thin.
Sucking your thumb without a blanket is like eating a cone without ice cream!
The only thing I ever wanted to be was a cartoonist. That's my Life. DRAWING.
Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.
It's amazing what one can accomplish when one doesn't know what one can't do.
If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.
Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it doesn't cost anything.
It seems that nothing ever gets to going good till there's a few resignations
In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke.
Only a couple of times have I ever been to church and felt enlightened by it.
When DVDs finally disappear, I'm going to be sad. I'll miss the commentaries.
I do like children, but only as people. Not as if they're a special category.
You see, I don't draw from life at all, but I do look out of my window a lot.
If you want to read and you want to draw, that helps you to express yourself.
I don't like holidays. And I don't like crowds of people. I don't like noise.
Fortunately, cartooning is not a job. It's something like eating or sleeping.
In the next life you will be working with those attitudes that are now yours.
Marketers need to spend less time making promises and more time keeping them.
I want to go to my grave a free man. Surviving against giants-that's victory.
I love drawing what the character is feeling, in my comics, with no dialogue.
Gehrig was not like the common folk; Created, was he, like the strongest oak.
I always like to write where I'm at in real life into whatever I'm working on.
I've found it's better to talk to the machine and hang up if I get the person.
I love comics, and I can't imagine life without them. I love newspaper comics.
Humor is proof that everything is going to be all right with God nevertheless.
The early bird gets the worm but the late bird doesn't even get the late worm.
Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in restraint.
Humor can inform and break down stigma, which is a huge issue in the military.
American girls often marry someone they can't stand to spite someone they can.
All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first.
I could have killed Gregory Fitzhurst at three hundred feet with my left hand.
You have to do something when you're lying in bed. So you play with your mind.
Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband.
Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has traveled is the worst.
Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.
If I had had me for a student I would have thrown me out of class immediately.