Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
For one thing, she pronounced flowers 'flars' and I couldn't let it slide.
Remember laughter. You'll need it even in the blessed isles of Ever After.
Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.
I think that cartoons have a lot more power than they're given credit for.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
The reason the way of the transgressor is hard is because it's so crowded.
Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.
An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.
I have an assistant who's very good at email, so I don't struggle with it.
Half of art is accident, but there is no accident without free experiment.
Unrequited love is like hitting your head against a wall that isn't there.
You may look normal like everyone else, but you're not. Not on the inside.
Impressing a bunch of snooty teenagers is a pretty lame life goal to have.
I need some kind of... like... last minute, poorly-set-up deus ex machina!!
Aunt Marion was right... Never marry a musician, and never answer the door.
I'm not opposed to comics on the Internet. It's just not interesting to me.
That'll be my claim to fame: My grandmother-in-law is the oldest iPad user!
This was more than just a cow - this was an entire career I was looking at.
The spirit of the law is the least of the things we're prepared to violate.
Phoney: Here's your problem Fone Bone! We're off the map! Get a bigger map!
I have a fear of letting my mind wander. I'm afraid it might not come back.
We have a group of people now who think they own the state. Its disgusting.
If there's anything mean in a feller, a litter authority will bring it out.
I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.
Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They just can't buzz any slower.
People think that whatever I put into strips has happened to me in my life.
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
There are moments when great music can be the greatest service and charity.
I'm trained as a teacher; that's the only thing I've got a certificate for.
Guinea pigs are quite difficult to draw, I think, because they're so furry.
The longer you wait to launch an innovation, the less your effort is worth.
Consciousness is, among other things, a spontaneous exercise in creativity.
Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.
I could lose myself forever in that dark hair and those sweet love handles.
Young people should be helped, sheltered, ignored, and clubbed of necessary.
Young people should be helped, sheltered, ignored, and clubbed if necessary.
They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything.
I had a mixture, my father was a career army man and my mother was a writer.
Sometimes the best Christmas present is remembering what you've already got.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.
Years are like candy bars... We're paying more, but they're getting shorter.
Lucy was using my blanket to dry the dishes. We now have very secure dishes!
Schroeder, do you think love is the answer to everything?" "Boy, I hope not!
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe just so you're sincere.
I think I'm gonna attach myself to the sinking ship that is book publishing.
I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.
England was incredibly dull and everything exciting seemed to be in America.
Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults.
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.