Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm tired of trying to get other people to see into my brain. I'm done.
If I keep grinning maybe my inoperable colon cancer won't hurt so much.
It's past time to go when you start asking yourself if it's time to go.
Even drawing gray hair at all is difficult to render in black and white.
Look at an infantryman's eyes and you can tell how much war he has seen.
Each new book that comes out kind of pulls up the old ones a little bit.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
I like the idea that my audience doesn't see what I do as controversial.
I hate self-publishing; it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.
Freedom should always be discussed within the context of responsibility.
At some point free expression absolutism becomes childish and unserious.
If I didn't understand a cartoon in a newspaper, I'd just turn the page.
Dennis to friend: No use crying, Joey. There aren't any grownups around.
There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.
We're all self-made men, but not very many of us have stayed on the job.
First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
If TV were only an invention to broadcast soccer, it would be justified.
And during my college, at the end of the junior year I worked in a mine.
My best sources are my travels and my collection of National Geographic.
It’s better to make a decision, even the wrong one, than to be in limbo.
The connection economy rewards the leader, the initiator, and the rebel.
The principles of comedy are the principles of comedy. I can hear funny.
Modern Carpet Designs may provide endless entertainment for your guests.
Oh, Life, I am yours. Whatever it is you want of me, I am ready to give.
I started as a news photographer at the University Of Texas' Daily Texan.
Comics is a language. It's a language most people understand intuitively.
Zippy accepts chaos as what it is, which is the real order of everything.
I'm most proud of having created something that men never completely get.
Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family.
Dear Valentine, I have thought of you often. Not all the time, but often.
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.
Things can be low on the food chain, but that doesn't mean they're lowly.
Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son
An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed
Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
Give a boy - ANY boy - enough time, and he WILL eventually pick his nose!
I promise I'll do anything for you, especialy if it's easy. Homer Simpson
Good things you have to make happen. Bad things happen all by themselves.
It would take a lifetime to read all the webcomics published in one year.
I'm not sure there's any number of Facebook likes that can replace a hug.
It does not pay to be friendly with officers, they take advantage of you.
Yeah, I read Judy Blume. My mother didn't like that, but I read it anyhow.
I hate Calvin and Hobbes. I think its a big re-hash of formula kid strips.
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
That's the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.
We all have such a finite time to leave the world better than we found it.
In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.