Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.
My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
For some reason it gives people pleasure to equate the life of certain movie actors or actresses with their actual lives.
I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.
I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.
Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.
A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law
Is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive? For instance: Have you ever seen women at a sample sale?
Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.
Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
I'd like to make a great movie. I've made many movies. I think I've made some good movies, but I never felt I've made a great movie.
Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.