Will Rogers Quotes - Page 7

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In a real estate man's eye, the most expensive part of the city is where he has a house to sell

Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

Rotation of crops and less automobiles will relieve the farmers whenever they decide to try it.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

The theater is a great equalizer: it is the only place where the poor can look down on the rich.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

That's the trouble with a politician's life-somebody is always interrupting it with an election.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to a select few.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

It costs ten times more to govern us than it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good.

A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.

You can be killed just as dead in an unjustified war as you can in one protecting your own home.

Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt.

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

A man only learns by two things; one is reading and the other is association with smarter people.

The deer season just opened. A deer hunter in Ventura Country brought in his first man yesterday.

The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over.

You must never tell a thing. You must illustrate it. We learn through the eye and not the noggin.

There is a horse here-the furthest north of any horse, and he eats fish and travels on snowshoes.

It is not the return on my investment that I am concerned about; it's the return of my investment

Congress knew Coolidge would veto the farm bill. There was more politics than relief in that bill.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.

Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers.

One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets.

Both political parties have their good times and bad times, only they have them at different times.

Wish all the Farmers would move to town one year, that's the only way I know to clear the thing up.

A man who dies without adequate life insurance should have to come back and see the mess he created.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs

The "Ways & Means Committee" is a committee that's supposed to find the Ways to divide up the Means.

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that you can't please.

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

We fed 'em Xmas and New Years; now all the poor have to do is just fill the few meals until next Xmas

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there

A country can get more real joy out of just hollering for their freedom than they can if they get it.

We know lots of things we didn't use to know but we don't know any way to prevent 'em from happening.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

Politicians are just a bunch of local bandits, sent by their local voters to raid the public treasury.

Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

More men have been elected between Sundown and Sunup than ever were elected between Sunup and Sundown.

It looks to me like the candidates are trying to relieve the farmer of his vote, instead of his debts.

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