Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
More words ain't good for anything in the world only to bring on more argument.
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
The best thing about this group of candidates is that only one of them can win.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it's in the way that it's spent.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.
People are marvelous in their generosity, if they just know the cause is there.
There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man.
It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute.
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
You shake a slogan at an American and it's just like showing a hungry dog a bone.
Know what you're doing, love what you're doing, and believe in what you're doing.
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
Farmers have more Associations, and Bureaus, and Clubs, than they have pitchforks.
I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it.
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights.
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
Cattlemen have lost more in the last few years than anybody and say less about it.
If you let women have their way, you will generally get even with them in the end.
It's one of the most progressive cities in the world. Shooting is only a sideline.
I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.
The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely
I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't know anything else.
In Europe public men do resign. But here it's a lost art. You have to impeach 'em.
People don't change under governments. Governments change. People remain the same.
Conferences are just like the poor and the Democrats, they will always be with us.
Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation.
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
If your time is worth anything, travel by air. If not, you might just as well walk.
Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched.
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
A king can stand people's fighting but he can't last long if people start thinking.
Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain't saying anything.
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.
When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law.
There will never be a time when the old horse is not superior to any auto ever made.
A politician is just like a pickpocket; it's almost impossible to get him to reform.
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a movie set.
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week.
Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.
I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.