Magic is the cheat codes for the world.

I am a messiah. Ask anyone on the Internet.

Its a strange world. Lets keep it that way.

Cheap! But not as cheap as your girlfriend.

It's a strange world. Let's keep it that way.

Don't live with writers. Writers are bastards.

Listen to the Chair Leg of Truth! It does not lie!

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!

I think blogging is a muscle that most people wear out.

What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?

Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

I live on my phone: I have a bunch of news and informational apps on there.

You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.

Tradition - one of those words conservative people use as a shortcut to thinking.

Here's the thing about Apple technology: once you own a piece, you want to use it.

I'd like to recover some of the strangeness and wonder of consideration of the future.

What? I bring joy to the world. I am filled with mirth and sunlight. Also, I am Batman.

If it's accessible by hundreds of millions of people, then it's as mainstream as it gets.

I try not to get involved in the business of prediction. It's a quick way to look like an idiot.

Writing is basically a job for people who like punching themselves in the face, I’m pretty sure.

I admit that I have sometimes claimed to be Batman in the past. But only when really, really drunk.

By four o'clock, I've discounted suicide in favor of killing everyone else in the entire world instead.

That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.

I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

Comics is still my first love. But I always did other kinds of writing, too, so I think of myself as a writer first.

good morning sinners. vampiric red bull intake in pub smoking compound commenced. day of heavy brain-fingering ahead.

If contemporary literary fiction doesn't read a bit like science fiction then it's probably not all that contemporary, is it

Los Angeles had no culture of its own, just a large collection of misreadings of the artistic histories of other, proper cities.

I think one of the bigger lessons the Internet has taught us is that 'niche' or 'subculture' are a lot bigger than anyone ever thought.

I want vasopressin, washed caffeine, Jumpstart, ginkgo biloba, guarana, and any intelligence enhancer introduced in the last five years.

My neck and shoulders are killing me. Hard to focus on writing about murder, doom, shagging, our hopeless future & other comedy etc etc.

If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain, do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?

The lesson of 'CSI' is: No matter what horrible things happen, nice policemen will turn up and fix everything and return it to the status quo.

I grew up in the 80s in England: we'd wake up each morning and look out the window to see if the government had finally put Daleks on the streets.

Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.

You must remember that the common criminal will always join the armed forces for, if nothing else, regular meals and expert training in the use of guns.

Journalism is just a gun. It’s only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that’s all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.

I was having a mildly paranoid day, mostly due to the fact that the mad priest lady from over the river had taken to nailing weasels to my front door again.

Learning to write comics is, in fact, so bloody difficult because it's such a weird form that it does actually make you a bit more adaptable for other forms.

I think the New Aesthetic is a series of observations. I think most of the trouble people have had with it comes from a misunderstanding of it as a movement.

Elijah Snow: 'Who have you pissed off this time, John?' John Stone: 'Sumatran robot death sluts -- Dammit, ONE of these buttons fires the atomic death biter --

I can be collaborative, for instance, in situations where I go and study the artist's work before I start writing. Then I can at least try to write towards their style.

Be authentic to your dreams. Be authentic to your own idea about yourself. Grind away at your own minds and bodies until you become your own invention. Be Mad Scientists.

Stephen King says that if you forget an idea, then it can't have been any good. He means he, not you. You are not Stephen King. Do not attempt to emulate Stephen King at home.

I was originally going to train as a journalist, passing a series of exams that winnowed ten thousand applicants down to one hundred places on a National Union of Journalists course.

The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.

For me, the Internet's like music. I don't like working without it. I will tune it out for hours at a time, as I get lost in the work, but I'd know if it wasn't there. If that makes sense.

If you write any kind of fiction about America, you immediately have to start doing some research about guns, so in some ways, 'Gun Machine' is just the culmination of 20 years of reading about guns.

Dance like you're stamping on a human face forever, love like you've been in a serious car crash that minced the front of your brain, stab like no one can arrest you, and live like there's no such thing as God.

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