Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Men don't hear women.
I'm really funny now.
I watched a lot of comedy growing up.
I feel today's society is so judgmental.
I had breast cancer. Yeah, I know it's scary.
I'm here today because I hated everything else.
Yeah, I had top-secret clearance and everything.
Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better.
When my parents send me emails the first 3 are blank.
What drives the creative person is that we see it all.
I have to be socially aware; I feel like that's my job.
I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am.
I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy.
I tried snowboarding, and that scared the hell out of me.
I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom.
Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.
Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?
In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression.
That word sassy - it haunts me. I keep getting the sassy thing.
If you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.
Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science.
I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place.
I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.
If a topic hits me, I'll start going on it. But you can't force it.
It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Whether you have a show or not, you can still be somewhere being funny.
I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun.
Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal.
I have a lot of breast cancer history on my mother's side of the family.
I really can't pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic.
It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.
Back then, I was doing more of my impression of what a comic is supposed to do.
I worked with people like Edward Snowden. Well, not people who took stuff home.
I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay.
How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex.
I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real.
Men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal.
I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
When I'm not on T.V. or working on a movie, I'm on the road doing stand-up. That's my roots.
If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.
Now, I think the people who are still doing stand-up are doing it because they love stand-up.
I don't understand why people really get upset about something that doesn't affect them at all.
I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.
I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!