Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face.
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.