Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm a friendly fascist.
Free ponies for all Americans!
Free speech is very important.
Strong teeth for a strong America.
I stand for mandatory toothbrushing laws.
Jesus had told me to make Randall Terry gay.
A vote for me is a vote completely thrown away.
The more ties you wear, the higher rank you are.
Money should be for ponies, not for war, I think.
Adults don't have the opportunity to pretend anymore.
A country's future depends on its ability to bite back.
My own personal goal was always to beat Lyndon LaRouche.
I have never intentionally been out to alienate anybody.
The system! The whole stinking ball of wax. It's a scam!
I was bullied as a child and used humor to rise above it.
I'm the only candidate that will fund time-travel research.
As a rule, I feel more comfortable on the Republican slate.
I would love to see everybody get a pony, don't get me wrong.
Anarchists believe we can run our lives without the government.
My personal view of the anarch-capitalists is that it's an oxymoron.
My neighbors know who I am and what I do, but they like me for who I am.
I've been truly blessed with an amazing audience and fan and support base.
Gingivitis has been eroding the gum line of this great nation long enough.
My answer to the climate crisis is, has, and always will be weather domes!
It is only the dogmatic, and the humorless, that don't succumb to my charm.
It will create lots and lots of jobs once we switch over to a pony based economy.
Everyone's a mixed bag. I'm a utopian social anarchist, but I'm also a pragmatist.
People ask, Vermin, are you planning on using ponies as currency? The answer is no.
Quite frankly, my constituency crosses a very wide swath of the political spectrum.
All club owners are vermin. So I was Vermin Supreme with my Fabulous Galaxy Lounge.
One of the most important things about using a bullhorn is you don't have to yell over it.
Tom Brady should be a heartbeat away from the presidency, and that heartbeat should be mine.
My involvement in politics was always to be the prankster and show the silliness of the situation.
For too long, this country has been suffering a great moral and oral decay in spirit and incisors.
My wife knows me as Vermin. My mother knows me as Vermin. For all intent and purposes, that's my name.
One of the things I like about what it is that I do... is that people can have a little bit of pretend.
Imagination is very important to having vision and trying to find things that are different, alternate ways.
Can a serious party put up an individual perceived previously or continuously as a joke candidate? I say yes.
I'm a tyrant that you should trust, and you should let me run your life, because I do know what is best for you.
The police represent the authority of the state, the willingness of the state to use violence to assert their will.
I'm all about simple, elegant, and effective, and when I wear the rubber boot on my head, it draws a lot of attention.
I am a beacon of hope to a vast number of young people and others who are still disillusioned and disgusted with the system.
The militarization of the police is obviously not a secret. And the militarization of the force is to circumvent Posse Comitatus.
Yes, I will promise you anything your little elector heart desires... Of course, I have no intention of keeping any promise I make.
I believed I paved the way for Donald Trump. I brought ridiculousness to politics and he saw an opening and just jumped on in there.
I think I would make a much better president than Ted Cruz, and with a little luck maybe I'll get more votes, but I'm not counting on it.
I've always maintained that if I didn't have the boot and was talking serious things on the street corner, it would be very easy to ignore me.
If I were to become a serial glitter-bomber, it would seriously impact my ability to get close enough to candidates to ask them a stupid question.
Once every American has a pony then I can - by fiat, executive order or something like that - dismantle the federal government with a snap of my magic fingers.
As a social anarchist, I believe that capitalism itself is an inherently exploitative hierarchical situation - you do have a boss, you do have somebody in charge.