Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
It attracts all types. But I definitely call the comedy world the land of misfit toys. Looking around the room at my friends, that's what I see.
I start crying when certain things come up, certain memories, certain feelings, and it's intense. But I think it's good for me - and therapeutic.
I can't help but see things in life through a humorous lens, so anything that comes my way is gonna probably be, you know, bent in that direction.
I got my first guitar when I was nine because I wanted to be the fifth Beatle, even though they had already broken up and John Lennon died that year.
It is that bizarre thing. If I had kids, I, of course, would tell them there's Santa, but it's also just an odd feeling to be blatantly lying to kids.
I want to be silly, and that's being authentic just as much as being open and honest. It's authentic to make weird clown horn noises when it strikes you.
I don't want to take myself too seriously, thinking that I'm always having to be this cathartic, intense and deep person, because I certainly enjoy silliness.
When I was first asked for an autograph, I felt so uncomfortable that I just wrote, 'Tig's Autograph,' and from then on, that's what I write when I sign my name.
If someone doesn't want me working their club, they're not going to hear from me again. I'm not going to fight or complain about it. I'd rather go someplace else.
I'm going to sound like an egomaniac, but I'm proud of so many things. I feel proud of my book, 'I'm Just A Person,' proud of my HBO special. I'm proud of a lot of things.
I don't personally feel like I've dealt with any sort of discrimination or sexism. I'm not doubting that there might have been that going on and I just didn't read it that way.
My mother was a very, very funny, outrageous, outspoken person, and she never edited me. Her whole thing in my life was if anybody had a problem with me, tell them to go to hell.
I can't imagine just dusting my pants off and going about my life like, "Phew! I sure made it through a tough spot, now where am I headed?" I feel more of an obligation to be helpful.
My career has always kind of moved forward and upward. I've never had anything kind of stall out or go in the opposite direction. I've always kind of been moving in the right direction.
Everybody, male or female, needs to possess qualities that they expect others to uphold. Being aware of yourself and your actions allows you to assess your shortcomings in an honest way.
In standup, you don't have anything near you except a microphone. There's something a lot more self-conscious feeling when there's cameras coming in for close-ups. It makes you very aware.
I've never tweeted. 'Funny or Die' started my Twitter account for me, and so I don't even have the password or anything like that. They started it, then they handed it off to other comics.
Luckily, I don't think that I'm too famous. I can still live my life pretty comfortably. Fame has never really ever appealed to me. I think it's easy to see that it's not a great thing to have.
People don't talk about small-town racism in Illinois or upstate New York. They're like, 'It's the South.' And it is. It's there. But it's everywhere. But everywhere, there are also amazing people.
I want people to talk about my comedy, about cancer, about body issues, about scars, because cancer, it's a big deal, but scars are not a big deal. My skin healed. Relax, you know? That's all it is.
I was really into music. I started playing guitar also when I was nine. I wanted to be in the Beatles, even though John Lennon died the year I got a guitar and the Beatles broke up before I was born.
My mom was a freethinking artist - she was wild and would do anything to get a laugh from me. She'd go in reverse through a drive-through so I could order from the window: 'Hi, can I get a milk shake?'
I was a full-blown tomboy; I was very mischievous and got into a lot of trouble. Everybody in my family smoked, and I started smoking probably when I was nine. My friends used to call me Huckleberry Tig.
I love drama - I would say more than I even love comedy - but I like in One Mississippi that I can go from a very moving moment to a Willy Wonka tube up my ass. I like the silliness as much as I like drama.
I failed eighth grade twice, and then they moved me up to ninth grade. Then I failed that and dropped out. My teacher would hand me a test, and I'd grade it myself with an F, then put my head down on the desk.
Maybe almost 20 years ago, I was like, 'God, I need to be more direct.' And I found times that I could practice it when it was maybe not my family or friends or co-workers. It's a quality that's rarely disliked.
It's important that when you do standup, you do small places like coffee shops and also big places like colleges. It helps you find the little nuances in your set that don't work, and you can shave off the excess.
A lot of comedians get a bad rep once they have kids and that's all they talk about, and people are like, 'I don't want to hear about your kids!' I'm like, 'Prepare yourselves. That's all I'm going to talk about.'
There's definitely been moments in my life, even recently, where I've taken chances or spoken up about something where I don't know how it's gonna go, but it is true, or it is my truth. That's kind of that trusting life.
I never really consider myself an awkward person, but once I got into stand-up, I kept hearing that word. The only thing I can trace it back to is that my mom had a similar sensibility. She always made people uncomfortable.
People have responded to my stories so well. They come up after a show and say things like, 'Your album really helped me,' or 'I have stage four cancer. I'm terminally ill.' Somebody told me it gave them the courage to die.
I've had an ongoing fantasy about being interviewed on, like, a '60 Minutes'-type show about this really inspiring woman that can do anything with a fake leg. And then the camera pans out, and I'm just holding a mannequin leg.
I just try not to think too much about how I'm perceived. I think as long as I'm still selling tickets and can pay my mortgage, then people are probably thinking good enough things or whatever about me to keep the train moving.
I don't talk about having cancer in my standup anymore. I don't have cancer. But if it comes up for me again, that I'm going through something, I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to do whatever feels right whenever it feels right.
Stephanie and I got married publicly on the beach, in front of friends and family, and the local police shut down the highway for us to cross the street back to my cousin's house. Cars backed up for miles, and everybody in town cheered.
Basically I'm a female human being with brown hair, enjoy precision, reading the news, eating delicious food with my delicious friends and laughing at ridiculous things that don't translate while you are desperately trying to make them.
I've toured around the world. I've worked with men, women. I feel like I've been unusually lucky to have supportive friends around me, and I feel tremendously supportive about my peers. I can't wait to brag about how funny my friends are.
The hardest lesson to learn always is to just have faith in that you will always have something to say or a story to tell. I have faith that I'll be able to continue to tell stories, write and tell stories. You just need to keep going at it.
Even in losing my mother, beautiful, amazing awakenings have happened within my family. Of course, losing her is not what you want. The things that happened after her death, she would be so just beside herself with joy that life turned out that way.
It's a weird place to be in because my dreams in life have surpassed what I could have ever imagined. I just hope I can continue to write stand-up, but I would say my big dream is to build an amazing family. It's so boring and cheesy, but that's my focus.
I didn't like to stop playing for a second to bother with eating or going to the bathroom. I was a really skinny kid, and I remember my mother always telling people, 'I don't know how she's alive. I think she gets all of her nutrients from air pollution.'
A lot of times, people will have after-parties or try and host an event for comedians, and they misunderstand us. They think it should be wild and crazy, or loud music, and comedians are typically pretty mellow people that just want to talk to each other.
People write me every day. It feels like this cycle that keeps giving, because as far along as I get in my happiness and success, hearing other people's stories is a constant reminder of where I came from, where people are, and how much help everybody still needs.
It's almost embarrassing how much support I have. I mean, I always tell people I feel like I'm perfectly set up to have cancer. I have great health insurance, I have a savings account. I have work lined up. I have friends and family. I have the best doctors I can get.
Before I had a double mastectomy, I was already pretty flat-chested, and I made so many jokes over the years about how small my chest was that I started to think that maybe my boobs overheard me... and were just like, 'You know what? We're sick of this. Let's kill her.'
I don't ever assume that people are going to love or appreciate what I do. It would be great. I don't assume that they're not going to. I just am like, 'I'm going to do my absolute best at everything I do, and I'm going to put it out with pride and hope people enjoy it.'
I was very into animals and nature, and really obsessed with cats and monkeys. I used to play in the woods, wander off into the woods for hours. I'd bring a clipboard and think that I was doing some work out there, following the trails of raccoons or collecting bird feathers.
After 2012, I thought, 'Oh wow, I've lived through this, and now I have a free ride in life.' And I can't believe I really thought that. As soon as I was healed from cancer and everything I was going through, I got back out into life and realized it doesn't work out like that.
You can think you're living in the moment and you're thankful, but when somebody comes face to face with you and says, 'I just lost my child,' or 'I have months to live, and thank you...' I'm of course sad for them, but I'm thankful that I gave them a gift and they're giving me a gift.
People love to make comedians out to be miserable, dark, twisted people. And I just - I think a lot of people struggle with depression and mental illness and have issues and problems within their family. The mailman has it. Your neighbor has it. It's just that comedians have a microphone.