Quotes by Tiffany Haddish - Page 1

Everybody in my life who is important to me is a star to me.
Tiffany Haddish /
Life Me My Life
Star
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I'm open to whatever God puts in front of me and makes my heart pitter patter.
Tiffany Haddish /
God Heart Me
Open
Whatever
Front
Puts
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I surf. I would love to do a remake of 'Gidget.' It could be, like, black 'Gidget.'
Tiffany Haddish /
Surf
Remake
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Being on stage is, like, my favorite. The immediate gratification. That's my favorite.
Tiffany Haddish /
Gratification
Immediate
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Stop holding your truth; speak your truth. Be yourself. It's the healthiest way to be.
Tiffany Haddish /
Truth
Speak
Yourself
Yourself Your Be Yourself
Truth Yourself Your
Be Yourself
Holding
Stop
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Everybody the same: We all got problems. We all want to be loved. We all wanna be happy.
Tiffany Haddish /
Wanna
Be Happy
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I don't mean to be so sensitive, but that's just who I am. And I'm not afraid to admit it.
Tiffany Haddish /
Sensitive
Admit
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I wanna meet Meryl Streep, so she can be my mama. I want Meryl Streep to be my mom in a movie.
Tiffany Haddish /
Movie
Mama
Wanna
Meet
Meryl
Meryl Streep
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When I was younger, I barely talked. I was scared of people. I had to learn how to cultivate that confidence.
Tiffany Haddish /
Barely
Cultivate
Talked
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I learned from Roger Rabbit that if you make people laugh, they'll do anything for you - which is almost true.
Tiffany Haddish /
Roger
Almost
Laugh
Learned
Rabbit
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I'm not afraid of any kind of job, I'm not afraid to play any kind of role, as long as it doesn't compromise my morals.
Tiffany Haddish /
Compromise
Morals
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I love Groupon. I just got a pedicure because of Groupon, and it was the best pedicure ever. I'm going to write a review!
Tiffany Haddish /
Review
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There are a lot of comedians that were bullied and picked on, and that's why they became comedians. Survival of the fittest.
Tiffany Haddish /
Survival
Comedians
Fittest
Picked
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I danced for, like, 11 years at bar mitzvahs and executive parties. I'm a professional energy producer. I produce energy, baby.
Tiffany Haddish /
Bar
Danced
Executive
Producer
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I think of comedy as my man: it's the one thing I can always rely on that will keep me safe, keep me fed, put a roof over my head.
Tiffany Haddish /
Rely
Roof
Fed
Man Me Always
The One Thing
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I did tell the census man I was white, and I'm telling you, I started getting offers for the black American Express card in the mail.
Tiffany Haddish /
American Express
Census
Mail
Offers
Man Black American
Man Black White
Card
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Every teacher that I've ever had, that I still remember their name, made me laugh. I feel like comedy is the best instrument to teach.
Tiffany Haddish /
Best Teacher Me
Instrument
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I've studied Charlie Chaplin for years. I've studied Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, all of them. I don't play around. This is not a game.
Tiffany Haddish /
Chaplin
Ball
Burnett
Carol
Carol Burnett
Lucille
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My therapist was like, 'What brings joy to your heart?' And I was like, 'I like to see teeth. I guess maybe I should have been a dentist.'
Tiffany Haddish /
Dentist
Teeth
Therapist
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When I was young, people used to be like, 'You look just like Halle Berry - out of Losing Isaiah.' I don't care; she was still beautiful in that movie!
Tiffany Haddish /
Don't Care
Losing
Beautiful Look People
Berry
Halle
Halle Berry
Young People
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When I got emancipated from the foster care program and I became homeless, it was a struggle. I was working at an airline, and then I stopped to pursue comedy 110%.
Tiffany Haddish /
Airline
Comedy
Homeless
Program
Pursue
Struggle
Became
Foster
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I'm not really into politics, but if I had my own country, I would make sure all my people were educated and figuring out what they love to do, and focusing on that.
Tiffany Haddish /
Love Politics People
Figuring
Focusing
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The body is a universal language. Because if you spoke French, and I speak English, but I move like this or do certain movements, I can still make you smile and laugh.
Tiffany Haddish /
Universal Language
French
Laugh
Movements
Spoke
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The last bag that I bought myself was a Madden Girl backpack that's really cute. And it was on sale for $45! I'm probably going to be cheap with my money for a long time.
Tiffany Haddish /
Cute
Time Money Myself
Backpack
Bag
Cheap
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There've been times I felt like, 'I don't know if I want to do this.' That maybe I should go back to school and become a special-education teacher. But I love entertaining.
Tiffany Haddish /
Teacher
Entertaining
Love Know School
Back To School
Maybe
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I tried to join three gangs, and every single one gave me a different excuse, but it was pretty much along the lines of, 'You're too goofy. You're too cute. You don't fit in.'
Tiffany Haddish /
Cute
Excuse
Goofy
Gangs
Join
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If the award comes with a check, then I want that award. But if it doesn't come with a check, then I'm not that interested. I'd much rather join NASCAR and get a trophy and a check.
Tiffany Haddish /
Nascar
Award
Check
Join
Trophy
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You're the only one that's in control of your emotions; you're the only one that's inside of you at all times. So control you however you want to. If you're not happy, that's your fault.
Tiffany Haddish /
Emotions
Fault
However
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No matter what the situation, I try to have fun. I get pulled over by the police, I'm like, 'Oh, this going to be the best arrest ever.' And I end up making friends with these police officers.
Tiffany Haddish /
Officers
Police
Situation
Arrest
Have Fun
Police Officers
Pulled
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Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't become Mr. Universe because he went to the gym every now and then. He did it on a regular basis. It's the same thing with comedy. I try to perform seven nights a week.
Tiffany Haddish /
Gym
Now And Then
Schwarzenegger
Universe
Arnold
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Basis
Perform
Mr
Nights
Regular Basis
Same Thing
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When I pick my greens, right, I smile. I smile when I pick the greens, and when I wash the greens, I smile. Then when I cut them up, I smile. And then when I cook them, I smile. They call it joyful greens.
Tiffany Haddish /
Joyful
Cook
Cut
Greens
Pick
Wash
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I always bring at least 15 to 20 percent of Tiffany to every character that I do. Like when I read 'Girls Trip,' I was like, 'Who been partying with me? Somebody been hanging out with me and done stole some stuff.'
Tiffany Haddish /
Character Me Always
Partying
Stole
Trip
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I do have esteem issues when it comes to reading and writing. I always feel kind of self-conscious about letting people read something that I wrote, because the last thing I wanna hear is, 'You spelled everything wrong.'
Tiffany Haddish /
Esteem
Self Conscious
Always People Feel
Wanna
People Feel Always
Letting
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People always tell me, 'You should do drama. You should do drama.' Even when I first got an agent, they were like, 'We want to send you out to be dramatic.' And I'm like, 'No. I'm a comedian. I'm funny. I want to do funny stuff.'
Tiffany Haddish /
Comedian
Dramatic
Funny Stuff
Funny Me People
Funny Always Me
Agent
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Coming from where I came from, being a foster youth... like, living in all those different homes... I am glad I had those experiences because now, when I perform, I can come from a place of reality: I know how different people live.
Tiffany Haddish /
Glad
Different People
Foster
Homes
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I did this movie called 'Their Eyes Were Watching God,' and I was an extra, and it was a movie that Oprah was producing. She had walked by, and I was making all the other extras laugh, and she said, 'You're a very funny young lady.' I was like, 'Eeeee!'
Tiffany Haddish /
Funny
Movie
Extra
Eyes
Lady
Oprah
Producing
Walked
Young Lady
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When my people are dying, that's when you gonna catch me protesting. I'm not gonna protest because somebody got offered not the amount of money they wanted to get offered. If you don't like what they're offering you, just no longer do business with them.
Tiffany Haddish /
Dying
Business Money Me
Catch
Offered
Protesting
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As far as ever wanting to give up, there have been a few times where I thought, 'Man, am I even good enough to do this?' Because people have said things to me like, 'You're too pretty. You shouldn't do comedy. Go ahead and get pregnant by a rich guy and chill.'
Tiffany Haddish /
Chill
Pregnant
Good Man Enough
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I feel like a foster kid that's been in the system for a long time, and then at 16, somebody adopted them and said, 'You can go to college, and you ain't got to pay no student loans.' I feel happy. I feel accepted after all these years of blood, sweat, and tears.
Tiffany Haddish /
Accepted
Adopted
Blood
Long Time
Sweat
Tears
Student
Foster
Loans
Student Loans
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I'm so sleepy most of the time, but I guess it's 'cause I'm constantly doing things and trying to move forward and set up for the master plan. The master plan is to be, like, little baby Oprah, with my own production company, maybe my own channel, inspire millions.
Tiffany Haddish /
Inspire
Sleepy
Channel
Master
Little Baby
Oprah
Master Plan
Move Forward
Production Company
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For any women trying to do comedy, I would suggest you do one thing every day towards your goal. First, you figure out what it is you want to accomplish. Don't be afraid to set a new goal every day, but every single day, do one thing towards your goal, and you will achieve it.
Tiffany Haddish /
Accomplish
Achieve
Comedy
One Thing
Afraid
Every Single Day
Figure
Towards
Single Day
Suggest
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In stand-up, you do need to be having fun up there, like Richard Pryor said, but you have to know yourself well, too... You start learning, and it's like playing a piano. You know exactly what keys to stroke, 'cause really, with comedy, you're, like, fiddling with people's souls.
Tiffany Haddish /
Having Fun
Exactly What
Fiddling
Pryor
Souls
Stroke
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I've always been outwardly personal. I've always been that chick. A lot of my friends be like, 'TMI, Tiffany, TMI.' I just feel like it's important to share your experience on this Earth, because you never know who's watching, who might be going through the same thing, who might feel devastated.
Tiffany Haddish /
Devastated
Experience Always Your
Chick
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When I go to auditions, I try to always make sure I go in prepared. I always think to myself, 'I'm here to provide them with a service. They need me, and if they decide to hire me for this service, I'm going to give them the best they've ever paid for and if they don't, they're dumb.' That's on them.
Tiffany Haddish /
Auditions
Dumb
Best Myself Always
Best Myself Me
Hire
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I always feel like when I work with people, I work with everybody - from the person that's working the camera to the person that's running the water to the person that's putting the clothes on me, the person that's combing my hair, my makeup, the person that's like, 'You gotta sign these papers.' I try to hang out with everybody.
Tiffany Haddish /
Clothes
Makeup
Papers
Water
Work Me People
Camera
Gotta
Hang
Putting
Sign
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Tiffany Haddish Quotes - Page 1

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