Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.
Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.
I express preference for a chronological sequence of events which precludes a violence.
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
This wasn't food - it was what food became if it had been good and gone to food heaven.
One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.
We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?
One day all of us will die but - and this is the important thing - we are not dead yet.
I don’t think it's weak to admit you made a mistake. That takes strength, if you ask me.
Neither claimed any responsibility for Milton Keynes, but both reported it as a success.
If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.
Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it.
He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.
You are very clever," said the old man shyly. "I would like to eat your brains, one day.
Most horses don't walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can't see doesn't exist.
Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them.
If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else's story.
I think the best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say I've got Alzheimer's.
The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke.
Happiness is not the natural state of mankind, and is never achieved from the outside in.
Legends don't have to make sense. They just have to be beautiful. Or at least interesting.
It takes forty men with their feet on the ground to keep one man with his head in the air.
She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it.
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards because a refusal often offends, I read somewhere.
Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course.
Strength enough to build a home, Time enough to hold a child, Love enough to break a heart
I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins.
Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?” “Yes,” said the wizard bitterly, “us.
And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!
It is a mistake trying to cheer up camels. You may as well drop meringues into a black hole.
It was written in some holy book, apparently, so that made it okay, and probably compulsory.
The trouble with life was that you didn’t get a chance to practice before doing it for real.
You're allowed to grant people into the darkness, but you must allow them to come out again.
Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.
This is Morbidia," said Vlad. "Although she's been calling herself Tracy lately, to be cool.
Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.
The pen is mightier than the sword ... if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
I used to like reading and you read enough books and you overflow and then you start writing.
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but her's curiosity could have massacred a pride of lions.
What do you call those things at the bottom of rivers? Frogs? Stones? Unsuccessful gangsters?
DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT.
Other people salted away money for their old age, but Nanny preferred to accumulate memories.
If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty.
Any fool could be a witch with a runic knife, but it took skill to be one with an apple corer.
Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.
Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine - once. Like the Borg, they learn.
He'd been an angel once. He hadn't meant to Fall. He'd just hung around with the wrong people.
Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them.