Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along.
These people were not only cheering, they were throwing flowers and hats. The hats were made of stone, but the thought was there.
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.
Around it are those countries which, according to History, constitute the civilised world ie, a world that can support historians
Let grammar, punctuation, and spelling into your life! Even the most energetic and wonderful mess has to be turned into sentences.
Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, "What happens if I do this?"
Heaven has no taste." "Now-" "And not one single sushi restaurant." A look of pain crossed the angel's suddenly very serious face.
Well, it would have to be “The Man Who Was Thursday.” It’s a damn good read that I believe should be read by everyone in politics.
If he'd been a hero, he would have taken the opportunity to say, "That's what I call sorted!" Since he wasn't a hero, he threw up.
There are, almost by definition, an unlimited number of Hells - potentially at least a personal one for every living sapient being.
(About a cookbook...) - What about this one? Maids of Honor? - Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.
The more you think about it, the more amazing the everyday world of human beings becomes: most of it doesn't actually exist at all.
Do you know how wizards like to be buried?" "Yes!" "Well, how?" Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs. "Reluctantly.
The man gave a shrug which indicated that, although the world did indeed have many problems, this was one of them that was not his.
He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.'
Granddad was superstitious about books. He thought that if you had enough of them around, education leaked out, like radioactivity.
In the end the problem isn't that you have the wrong sort of government for the People, but that you have the wrong sort of People.
He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like "core values" at him with impunity.
Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.
A world like that, which exists only because the gods enjoy a joke, must be a place where magic can survive. And sex too, of course.
Tragic heroes always moan when the gods take an interest in them, but it's the people the gods ignore who get the really tough deals
It occurred to me that at one point it was like I had two diseases - one was Alzheimers, and the other was knowing I had Alzheimers.
Some of them wanted to sell me snake oil and I'm not necessarily going to dismiss all of these, as I have never found a rusty snake.
It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.
Oh, a very useful philosophical animal, your average tortoise. Outrunning metaphorical arrows, beating hares in races... very handy.
Granny Weatherwax was firmly against fiction. Life was hard enough without lies floating around and changing the way people thought.
Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.
If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.
I know loads of coppers and dealt with them a lot when I was a journalist - coppers are easy to write for; they tend to run on rails.
By the time you've reached your sixties, you do know that one day you will die, and knowing that is at least the beginning of wisdom.
Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.
Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that it could make you stupid.
Who'd want a pony when you could have the whole universe? It was far more interesting and you didn't have to muck it out once a week.
Death: Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.
Correct observation followed by meticulous deduction and the precise visualization of goals is vital to the success of any enterprise.
It occurred to me that at one point it was like I had two diseases - one was Alzheimer's, and the other was knowing I had Alzheimer's.
If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.
A good banana daiquiri is hard to come by. I've only ever found one place in this country that makes a proper one, and that's in Leeds.
She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.
But here's some advice, boy. Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions.
She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.
Gods play games with the fates of men. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board and look all over the place for the dice.
Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo.
He thought about how it might be to be, say, a fox confronted with an angry sheep. A sheep moreover, that could afford to employ wolves.
Nanny's philosophy of life was to do what seemed like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible. It had never let her down.
Maybe the only significant difference between a really smart simulation and a human being was the noise they made when you punched them.
It was a backwards memory of an event in his future so terrifying that it had generated harmonics of fear all the way along his lifeline.
Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a proper exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean.
Certainly I have no faith in Jehovah, although I think it quite likely that Jesus Christ, as a preacher and a wise man, did indeed exist.
But ye gotta know where ye're just gonna rush in. Ye cannae just rush in anywhere. It looks bad, havin' to rush oout again straight awa'.