Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
"There's a door," he whispered. "Where does it go?" "It stays where it is, I think," said Rincewind.
Experience has taught me that you feel better on a flight if you avoid chicken fat in plastic sauce.
His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.
I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire," said Miss Tick. "There may be no survivors.
You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.
They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
There are times when the best writing you can do is to go for a walk or drive, a long drive is ideal.
I don’t see why it matters what is written. Not when it’s about people. It can always be crossed out.
I think you should be proud of not being worse than just deeply introverted and socially maladjusted.
Just because you've got a mind like a hammer doesn't mean you have to treat everyone else like a nail
No one thinks that young adults read hooks for YOUNG ADULTS, books for young adults are read by kids.
I don't think about the end game. I've got lots to occupy my mind. It's the rage that keeps me going.
The truth is a fog, in which one man sees the heavenly host and the other one sees a flying elephant.
Fascism may be good at making the trains run on time, but you wouldn't like some of the destinations.
Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.
Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war.
They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but has anyone checked lately?
If the government ever imposes a tax on books - and I wouldn't put it past them - I'm in dead trouble.
Someone out there was about to find that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian. With a badge.
Last hopeless chances have got to work. Nothing makes sense otherwise. You might as well not be alive.
Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive.
One of the important things about being a small-town reporter is knowing what not to put in the paper.
The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.
There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write.
My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat.
There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.
It's not morbid to talk about death. Most people don't worry about death, they worry about a bad death.
In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?
This time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.
All the higher life forms scythed away, just like that. [ . . . ] Nothing but dust and fundamentalists.
People are bound to get excited when they see a ten-million-ton starship trying to fly down the street.
I keep vaguely wondering what Macs are like, but the ones I've seen spend too much time being friendly.
People don't like change. But make the change fast enough and you go from one type of normal to another.
I can't stand any music that requires its singers to be so dumb they wear their baseball caps backwards.
Everything makes sense a bit at a time. But when you try to think of it all at once, it comes out wrong.
Soon to come in licorice, orange, cinnamon, and banana, but not strawberry, because I hate strawberries.
Actors, said Granny, witheringly. As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more.
Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?'
In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.
People don't like to say Horror so they say Dark Fantasy because that's Horror wearing a collar and tie.
Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna' be fooled again!
The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.
Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.
Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.
What I've always said was, hang in there, let me write what I want to write, and you'll probably like it.
Mere animals couldn’t possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.
Vimes had got around to a Clean Desk policy. It was a Clean Floor strategy that eluded him at the moment.
There are thousands of good reasons why magic doesn't rule the world. They're called Witches and Wizards.
Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men that make gods. This explains a lot.