Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Honestly, live is my favorite way of performing. Every show is a completely different energy. With recording, it's not really as organic as it can be. But I feel like I'm a lot more fluid, and I can be a little bit more aggressive.
Now I'm starting to understand what the kind of power is. It has been healing for me, and very therapeutic even today. It's one of the reasons why I went back to school to study psychology and mental health, was to understand why that is.
Singing a song like 'Your Love Is Killing Me,' people are worried about me. My mother called me, like, 'What's going on with you? Are you alright? I thought you were doing fine.' And I'm like, 'I am doing fine. It's just, this is what I do.'
I hit 'record' whenever I'm going through a really hard time. I don't listen to it for a couple of days, so I have some perspective. If it's too personal to share, and I feel like would alienate the listeners, then I usually don't share that stuff.
I was pretty troubled for a long time. And I didn't know that. As a kid, I never talked about my emotions. My mom gave me a journal, but I didn't know what it meant. I just wrote all the time, not even thinking about it. But it also made me feel better.
Moving to New York City and doing what I do, social anxiety is a really ridiculous kind of curse to have. But I met people along the way who deal with it - performers as well - and they are learning to deal with it daily and deal with it in different ways.
When you get home after being gone for a month or two, time moves on without you. You're scrambling to catch up with the people. Some friends and family understand, but then there are others who just think that you can't find enough time in your life for them.
It's not onstage as often anymore, but whenever I got anxious, I used to talk a lot more, and I wouldn't even know what I was saying... it was so bad. If I just talk myself through something, even if it's just talking about nothing, it usually gets me out of it.
I didn't think I was helping other people. But I think that comes hand in hand with trying to be able to connect with people, and if you make things too personal, then it's harder for people to relate to you. Otherwise, it's just them listening to you read your diary.
I have a lot of alter-egos: I would love to be a back-up singer for someone someday. I have an electronic side-project. I have a '90s grunge side project; I have a piano project... I have this industrial, goth-electronic song, super creepy sounding, just really dark and dreary.
It's hard if you're just touring constantly. It's like, "What am I going to write about? I'm in the van, I'm playing another show..." I'm still writing about heartbreak that happened years ago. I don't see the point of writing and putting out another record until I can do something else.
I was without my own place for nearly two years. It's such a cliche to be a homeless musician in New York, but luckily, I had amazing friends who let me stay with them. I visited my parents a lot. It's not like I was sleeping in my car, though I might have done that once... But it was by choice!
The dilemma I have is that everything I do at work is all about me, and at what point is that selfish? I'm just talking and singing about myself, or I'm standing on a stage and hoping that everybody likes me. Obviously, it's also about the music and feeling and connecting; I know it's deeper than that.
I go back to things all the time. It's really nice, too, like when I'm going through some kind of a writer's block, and I'm feeling uninspired, I go to some of my oldest songs from over the years and sift through them, and one thing that's very nice is to see how I've grown up a little bit. A little bit.