Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Award shows in general are just lame excuses to stroke the egos of millionaires, but the 'ESPY's' are an especially embarrassing example.
There's something about supposed experts making millions of dollars to bark tired sports cliches that makes our blood boil. And it should.
If you want to be universally loved, forget a career in broadcasting. You can't compliment a team without necessarily dissing their opponent.
As a general rule, girls at the gym are not interested in a free power clean lesson from some doofus in a form-fitting Under Armour ensemble.
Title IX is important. Women have made incredible gains in athletics, but does Brittney Griner have a chance in the post against Julius Randle? No.
When you decorate with neon beer lights, it's hard to create a class divide. So, the dive bar is an institution that welcomes every kind of person.
If LeBron James, Phil Mickelson, or Reggie Bush had to rely on personality to make it in this world, they'd all be incredibly athletic rodeo clowns.
We've all had classes with a professor so bland and monotone that their lectures sound like Mitt Romney reading 'Paradise Lost' from a blown speaker.
The suburban dad is the worst dressed subset in America, which is especially disheartening when you consider the country club's many great style icons.
Fraternities are bizarre because, as a pledge, some clown who wears Hollister & Co. flip-flops exclusively will make you clean his toilet with a toothbrush.
Contending that top-level, male high school basketball players are better than WNBA all-stars, while blatantly obvious, makes us feel uncomfortable to write.
If you're in public and standing still, don't take a phone call. It's that simple. All you're doing is holding those around you hostage to a one-sided conversation.
Once you're past the age of, say, 11, you should stop idolizing athletes. You look ridiculous wearing the jersey of a guy who is younger and wealthier than you are.
It's weird, but I'm so empathetic; when I see people dying on hot sauce, I do feel for them. And I'm a Midwestern guy, so I think I'm just naturally nice and polite.
The sixth track on 'Days Before Rodeo' is jet fuel for the soul, the kind of song that could make a middle school librarian put her head through a glass coffee table.
If you're entering your first year of higher education, then you also need to prepare for an extreme lifestyle change. Your mom's not there to wake you up for school.
I never really see entertainment as a noble pursuit necessarily, but people really want a sense of normalcy, even if it's being delivered to them in a 'Hot Ones' episode.
Women who are paid to look hot get hit on all the time, so don't roll up on a restaurant hostess with your non-iron Trump Collection shirt and expect anything to pop off.
Celebrity is this thing that's unattainable. This unattainable lifestyle. This unattainable social status. But there's nothing more commonplace than dying from hot sauce.
Preparing America's student loan crippled grads to enter a hopeless and crowded job market is no easy task, which is why we should show more love to our nation's professors.
Thanks to fantasy football and 'Madden' on Xbox Live there are legions of jersey adorning sports fanatics who think they're equipped to stand on the sideline with a headset.
For many an awkward, pigeonholed high school kid, the first day on campus is a chance to re-introduce themselves to the world. In most cases, this is an unfortunate occasion.
When you consider the depths to which major college football coaches are willing to sink in order to protect their programs, Tyrann Mathieu's dismissal from LSU is staggering.
Never underestimate how profoundly marked biceps and defined traps can improve your personal style, particularly if you spend as much time in a sleeveless shirt as Nate Thurmond.
I used to love wings. People come up to me and say, 'Hey, you have to try this hot sauce, let's go get wings.' I don't even want to do that for Key and Peele. This is not a hobby.
If you think scrawling your Twitter handle on a bus window with a Sharpie is a worthwhile way to gain followers, your social media strategy is headed in a pretty pathetic direction.
Stadiums are notoriously bad for cell phone reception. Spending the majority of a game trying to post an Instagram'd picture of the field isn't just pitiful, it's damn near hopeless.
White dude speed' is the kind of quickness that you see from a guy who's trying to beat the 'Do Not Walk' sign across the street. They're moving but not fast enough to scuff their boat shoes.
At 18-years-old, you have no money. You have no game. Your life experience is limited to getting fired from a part-time gig at the driving range and totaling your mom's Saturn Ion junior year.
In the late '90s and early 2000s, basketball was more about making your defender look stupid than scoring. Seriously. You could miss every layup, so long as you turned an ankle or buckled a knee.
I was a broadcast journalism major at the University of Illinois, so there's always part of you that thinks you could, or hopes you could, but it's not like you can just walk in and get a TV job.
No future employer is going to comb your college transcript to see how you fared in Microeconomics 300. In fact, you won't even be asked about where you went to school after your first entry level job.
The problem with college kids is that they're ignorant to the browbeaten realities of living life in a cubicle and they have nothing but free time to get jacked up on MotherJones.com articles about oil companies.
It's always annoying to me when I see Nick Cannon on a press appearance and everyone's asking about Mariah Carey. Give this guy a break. How many years and how many ways does he have to answer the stupid question.
The prevailing subtext of every dating book is that beautiful women are surpassingly obtainable, so long as you get over the intimidation that keeps you from approaching them. That's maybe the dumbest advice ever.
Gamers are horrible roommates because they monopolize the TV with something less watchable than 'The Mob Doctor' and, if that wasn't irritating enough, have the audacity to scream combat commands through a head set.
Hot Ones' is a show that takes a celebrity, which by definition is a person whose lifestyle is unattainable, and then 'Hot Ones' takes that celebrity and knocks them down a peg - a level that everyone can relate to.
I always had dreams that I could be on television. I used to watch 'The Late Show' with my dad, and I'd make him pause the VHS whenever the audience laughed to explain jokes to me. But it's hard to just 'get into TV.'
If you're curious how Lance Armstrong got away with cheating for 15 years or why Manti Te'o's fake girlfriend went unnoticed for five months, it's because sports reporters are really just starstruck fans, not hardcore journalists.
The NBA was once a league full of guys who topped out at 5-foot-9, wore belts in their shorts, and reeked of pomade. When it came to dishing the ball there was only one option: the bounce pass. The game's changed a lot since then.
When Complex hired me, originally I wasn't at First We Feast, I was just like a hired hand for Complex. They'd send me out to different events or they'd have people visiting the office and I'd do interviews with athletes, musicians, whoever.
If I'm talking about like the evolution of 'Hot Ones,' when we first started it was not a big hit at all. It was on the verge of being cancelled. The thing that kept us going is that the cult fan base was so intense and nobody was leaving the tent.
Proof of the 'hysterical strength' phenomenon is still hearsay, mostly because it's impossible to recreate those conditions in a lab. That said, try turning a doorknob when the bass drops on 'Skyfall' without ripping that door clean off of its hinges.
Before Julius Erving, being a stylish basketball player meant 13 ounces of pomade in your hair and color coordinating the belt in your shorts with your canvas sneakers. Dr. J was a transcendent figure athletically, but he also changed the aesthetics of the sport.
I remember me and my brother would watch 'Beavis and Butthead' or 'South Park,' but we'd be all secret about it because we didn't want our dad to know. And then before I know it, I'm in fourth grade and me, my brother, and my dad are watching 'South Park' together.
When I'm a little kid watching Chicago Bears games, hot salsa would be on the table and the first time I was like, 'Ah, this is hot Dad, get mild salsa,' and he was like: 'Not in my house. We have real salsa. And if you can't handle real salsa then you can just eat dry chips.'
If your Facebook page has turned into a shrine to your relationship, pet, or newborn, no one will say anything, but all who are subjected to your news feed are totally annoyed. Super fans who turn their profiles into mausoleums dedicated to their teams are equally insufferable and one hundred times more pathetic.
Increasingly, I'll see commercials and every fast food chain has the new spicy fries or spicy this or spicy that and I feel like that is popping up more and more. Humbly I do think 'Hot Ones' is at the center of that storm in a lot of ways. So yeah I think that we've helped take hot sauce and move it into a more mainstream place for sure.
Not everyone's going to agree to eat chicken wings, that's obviously an enormous catch to our show, that's an enormous ask. It's not easy to get anyone to do your show, but on 'Hot Ones,' you have to eat scorching-hot chicken wings. So it's always going to be a challenge to book, in my opinion, no matter how popular it is in the zeitgeist.