Quotes by Ryan Stiles - Page 1

Never trust sheep.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Trust
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Quiet! I'm expressing myself!
Ryan Stiles / Actor
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Two thongs don't make a right.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Thongs
Two
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Back off or the lizard gets it!
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Gets
Off
Lizard
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I look like Walt Disney just threw up.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Looks
Stiles
Walt
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The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Blue
Sky
Beyond
Door
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Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Bananas
Eating
Ice Cream
Banana
Interrupt
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I am breathing. That's how I'm staying alive!
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Alive
Breathing
Staying Alive
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If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Men
Fishes
Would Be
Fish
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The sky, the sky beyond the door is bluuuuuuue!
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Doors
Sky
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If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Men
Stiles
Would Be
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If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Men
Stiles
Wife
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I love B.C., but you know what taxes are like in Canada.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Canada
Knows
Taxes
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The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Dancing
Fool
Tap
Rule
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When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Being The Best
Damn
Making Love
May
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I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Home
Bananas
Green
Ripe
Buy
Some
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If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Caucasian
If I Could
Sensation
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We're expecting a lot of rain in the state of Oregon, so let's just get rid of Oregon.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Expecting
Oregon
Rain
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That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Dough
Worms
Raw
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I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Car
Bricks
Yellow
Drive
Brick
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I wasnt particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Brother
School
Three
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I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Brothers
Older Brothers
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You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Backwards
Confession
Priests
Shirts
Priest
Shirt
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What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Chess
Dark
Earth
Plans
Ruling
Someday
Refine
Taping
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The good news is your surgery was a success and now you look like a movie star! The bad news is that movie star is Drew Carey!
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Looks
News
Stars
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I cant sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. Im shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Remember
Sprinkles
Stiles
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I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Accident
Shaky
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I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Multiple
Personality
President
Puppeteer
United States
President United States United
Jim
Personalities
Tenth
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On 'Whose Line,' we had six, seven, eight scenes per show, so everything was pretty quick. And there's a lot of games that we just got tired of, like 'Hats' and 'World's Worst' and 'Hoedown' and stuff.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Eight
Hats
Six
Tired
Worst
Per
Quick
Whose
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I was into sports in high school, but I got kicked out of Richmond High at 17, so I never graduated. However, I still get invites to the class reunions... I don't know that I want to see how everyone looks now.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Sports
Class
High School
Invites
Looks
Richmond
See Never Know
Graduated
However
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I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Add
Convinced
Hardest Thing
Information
People
People Information More
Improv
The Hardest Thing
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Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,' he got into bowling, and suddenly he's phoning up pros for tips and carrying around 3 balls. It's just how he does it.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Balls
Bowling
Funny Guy
Tips
Carrying
Drew
Pros
Suddenly
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I did standup for a lot of years, too, but when you come out as a standup, you get the feeling from a crowd - it's a kind of a 'make me laugh' attitude. But when you come out as an improvisor, they realize that they're suggesting everything you do. So they're already invested in the scene, and they actually want it to work.
Ryan Stiles / Actor
Make Me Laugh
Suggesting
Crowd
Invested
Standup
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Ryan Stiles Quotes - Page 1

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