Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I have had the most spoiled golfing life.
David Frost plucked me from the nightclubs.
As you get older, you worry about your memory.
It is nice to be appreciated by the youngsters.
If I change car, I change car. I don't get very fond of things.
I wasn't a very athletic boy. I was once lapped in the long jump
We did Donald McGill, seaside-postcard stuff - middle of the road.
We had a certain kind of material that was not dangerously esoteric.
Dad was a baker, and Mum was tied up with church and the social club.
I have been in the business for 62 years. It's a match made in heaven.
All those I admired as a young performer had a calmness to their comedy.
It is true that whisky improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it.
I look forward to doing everything, whether appearing on TV or walking the dog.
My father instilled attention to detail and a sense of duty and responsibility.
Doing things like 'Extras' and 'Little Britain' keeps me in with the youngsters.
We'd never do anything tasteless. There's enough to make fun of without offending.
It's difficult to be clean and clever at the same time, but a lot of our stuff was.
Golf is the most fascinating game, but other people's game is the most boring thing.
I like to do enough work to keep myself sharp and relevant without trying to be trendy.
I just keep jogging along, and people seem to like me. And for that I am very grateful.
What is so good about 'Gavin and Stacey' is that it is very real, Welsh, and well written.
It is all down to 'The Two Ronnies.' Those years with Ronnie Barker were the spine of my career.
I've had a very happy life, and although I have had tragedy, I've never suffered from any darkness.
It is possible to have good manners and be funny at the same time. Ronnie Barker and I proved that.
When I'm stopped in the street, people want to talk about 'The Two Ronnies' and the sketches we did.
Comedy taste changes. It only changes slightly, but there's always a different angle, a different attitude.
I have not survived 50 years in showbusiness by being Mr. Nice. If you are weak, this business eats you up.
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
The really funny moments you notice throughout your life are very seldom generated by one person telling a joke.
I actually found it very moving how destructive depression is. I was really saddened by this burden people have to handle.
How long does it take to make 'They Think It's All Over?' It's just laughing at each other and thinking, 'Aren't we clever?'
The funny thing about the golf swing is that you try to alter it and end up with the same faults as you've had all your life.
Our comedy was light-hearted amusement that seemingly tripped naturally off the tongue. That's why I don't think it will date.
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
We go out of fashion but can also come back into fashion. So you've just got to hang around long enough until you are back in style.
I love radio and have done a little bit for years - since 'Workers' Playtime' in the 1950s. It's also a good springboard for comedians.
There was a story saying I didn't like contemporary comedians, but it's completely untrue - a lot of them are very dear friends of mine.
A man can add to his sexuality by being funny, whereas a woman can diminish hers. I don't know why that's the case: it's completely unfair.
Part of my style was getting into a muddle. Audiences think that's part of the act. Sometimes it might be - but you have to guess which bits.
We had brilliant writers on our shows, and I do think that 'The Two Ronnies' has stood the test of time. It was certainly the greatest fun to do.
I don't want to push barriers myself. You go to see Joan Rivers to see barriers being pushed. You watch 'Little Britain' to see barriers being pushed.
I'm always nervous. A classy comedian is full of self-doubt disguised with an air of false confidence. If there isn't self-doubt, you seem aggressive.
I watch the wonderful Dara O'Briain refereeing 'Mock the Week,' where they all compete with each other. I wouldn't be on that. It frightens the life out of me.
I think people feel starved of nice, glamorous entertainment. They want to see costumes and gaiety and a singer; old-fashioned entertainment - it won't die easily.
We knew what mums, dads, and children would understand and enjoy without resentment. I don't see the requirement to upset people. You're there to entertain and please.
I have been trapped in some posh toilets, including those in Windsor Castle and Buckingham Palace, and at Victor Spinetti's memorial at St. Paul's Covent Garden, I got locked in the loo.
There are many comics around who don't really have a feel for comedy. They can say outrageous things, have clever thoughts, and deliver some funny angles. But they are not genuinely funny.
In the old days, if you topped the bill one evening, you'd do 22 minutes maximum, and if you overstepped and did 27 one night, you'd get a knock on the door telling you it wasn't acceptable.
My first pet at home in Edinburgh was a dog my dad had called Glen. He was a small sheepdog and went with my dad every day to work as manager of a cooking centre, which made the children's lunches for schools.
You get fed up watching shows with not much care and love, reality programmes where they put people in a house for a fortnight and film them doing everything, or where participants arrive after lunch and do the programme at six.