Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Having curry for breakfast is a thing of beauty.
Teaching is so solid and reliable, comedy is not.
Consuming art should involve investment and risk.
I have long been guilty of dressing too young for my age.
Trying to be funny is arguably the least funny thing you can do.
In the 10 years I've been with my wife we've probably argued twice.
My beard is just an ongoing effort to hide my face as much as possible.
It's such a privileged thing to say, but I'm still that same lazy person!
My problem is that we are all listening to music in a more disposable fashion.
I strive for honesty because I think that's where the funniest stuff comes from.
I would not have succeeded as a comedian had I not had some hugely lucky breaks.
Announcing a diversity initiative, or making it a cause, exerts unwanted pressure.
I want to say things on stage that I wouldn't have the guts to say in conversation.
One day, I brought home Eddie Murphy's 'Raw', and Dad and I would watch that together.
My comedy career aside, I am a father of three, a husband, a son, a brother and a vegan.
I have a hip-hop podcast and get to meet all these rappers I love, so I feel very lucky.
Getting a sleeve at my age is a midlife crisis for the man who can't afford a sports car.
All of the most interesting people had a horrible time as kids. All the best rappers struggled.
I am not obliged to tackle racism wherever and whenever it occurs, nor am I qualified to do so.
I mean, my stand-up is very honest and exposing in this way. I probably carry that into everything I do.
I have Asian friends - second generation - and I am the worst in terms of being in touch with my heritage.
I used to do standup about footballers; they are easy targets because they are traditionally seen as stupid.
Trumpeting diversity undermines what you are trying to achieve in the first place. It should happen without fanfare.
People say that I'm quite grumpy and negative on stage and that I surely can't be like that off it, but I really am.
My life consists of intense focus on urgent areas of development, and then abandonment of that focus shortly afterwards.
The contrast of being in the spotlight when you're very young and then suddenly not can be really bad for your mental state.
I used to think that people just hate vegans; I have since discovered that everybody hates anyone who abstains from anything.
Mum came to Crawley from Sri Lanka at 19 after marrying my dad. Later, Dad had financial problems and they split for a while.
What I'm like with lack of sleep is that I let the devil in, so if I'm tired the slightest thing will put me into a bad place.
Some of the best comedy comes from squeezing humour from tragedy and struggle, but the main pursuit of comedy should be laughter.
I have long believed that success stories need a bit of balance. We only hear from people who risked it all, and found it paid off.
When I started doing stand-up, I resigned from my job as a maths teacher and, three days before I was due to leave, my dad passed away.
Social media has exacerbated a trend whereby people speak with complete authority on every subject, regardless of how informed they are.
I owe much of my success to Seann Walsh. He kept recommending me for Live At The Apollo until eventually the producers offered me a gig.
When my wife and I promised the rest of our lives to each other, I doubt either of us suspected that life would involve quite so much TV.
I just write what I think is funny, or interesting, and hopefully everything else will take care of itself. There's no strategy to anything.
My wife and I have three boys, and it turns out this is the perfect number to ensure that you are never doing something that everybody wants to do.
I was terrible at sport at school. I was fat, which made things slightly tougher, but it also meant that people were encouraging to the point of patronising.
In life, we mostly manage to walk around interacting with each other fairly politely. But as soon as we get into our cars, we morph into something out of 'Mad Max'.
I did a gig as a standup when I was eight years old. I went on holiday with my family to this holiday camp and they had a talent competition and I entered as a standup.
People assume that your audience is full of people who love you. But, typically, it's one person in four who's chosen to come and has convinced some other people to go with them.
New Year's resolutions have always been something to beat myself up with by the second week of January. It seems perverse to set yourself up for failure right at the start of the year.
I don't believe in make-or-break moments in your life. If you screw something up, it can knock you down, but that only means you'll be better when you get back to where you were before.
My family is all obsessed with comedy. I grew up watching a lot of comedy in the house. I used to watch Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy with my dad. But my mom is more into slapstick stuff.
There's nothing less funny than somebody trying to be funny. I loved Jack Dee, then I met him and I became the least funny human to exist because of my desperation to say something amusing.
I have always told my family that I don't want my birthday to be celebrated and that they shouldn't get me anything, even though if they didn't I'd probably write a standup routine about it.
It's much easier for the vegan to remain at home and do their own Christmas dinner. That way, you can enjoy your food without someone making some hilarious comment about your stuffed pepper.
The experience of watching other standups is either: 1) you see your mate doing standup and it's really bad and you're heartbroken, or 2) You see your mate doing really well and it's heartbreaking.
I will admit to being slightly embarrassed that I am getting tattoos relatively late in life. Tattoos are meant to be something you get in your 20s when you're actually worried about your appearance.
My parents are super westernized. My mom listens to western music, my dad was like a pub landlord so he properly embraced English life. But the truth is they both came from tiny villages in Sri Lanka.