Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.
You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous.
I love doing live action movies, but there's a great job in doing animation, especially one with music.
You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.
After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.
I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.
Sometimes with a comedy it's just having the instinct of how real you play it and what level you want it.
You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.
There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.
I want everyone out there in TV land to touch the TV. Touch the back of the TV and get a shock for Jesus.
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice.
Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting.
On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.
Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.
But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever.
It's great that we've got a compassionate conservative, but to me, that sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack.
My children give me a great sense of wonder. Just to see them develop into these extraordinary human beings.
To make fun of an administration, to make fun of anything, Mark Twain said, is the last defense of democracy.
There's this thing called freebasing. It's not free, it costs you your home. It should be called 'homebasing'.
I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.
The French don't have a baseball team. And if they did, there'd only be a left field, and no one would be safe.
If you're going to do a movie about the Village, it's pretty nice to shoot in the village and not be in Toronto.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'
It was kind of a decompression - from straight alcohol to mixed drinks to wine to spritzers - and then you're out.
We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that!
When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
You have an internal critic, an internal drive that says, 'OK, you can do more.' Maybe that's what keeps you going.
If women ran the world there would be no wars. However every 28 days there would be some very intense negotiations.
It's always great when you want scientific fact to get a really good science fiction writer to talk to you about it.
We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.
You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.
If you want to die, don't make a mistake and not quite kill yourself because the medical bills in America are hideous.
I have no desire to go anywhere near drugs. People say, "Aren't you tempted?" No, because of the ridiculousness of it.
If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"
If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.
Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.
I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing.
The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ?
Women are wonderful. They're amazing creatures. You can never learn enough! They're addicting in the most amazing sense.
What is this demilitarized zone? Whatever it is, I like it! Gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino.
You don't need cocaine! There's another way to get real high, and really mess your mind up, it's called marathon running!
Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
I can be trained, I can actually show you how intelligent I am, I can use a word like delicatessen and know what it means.
The Second Amendment! It says you have the right to bear arms, or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want to do!
I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it.
On rides you see things that trigger ideas. And most the time it's just not doing anything but riding ... letting it all go.
It's frightening and exhilarating. It's like combat. Look at the metaphors: You kill when it works; you die when it doesn't.
Boys, you must strive to find your own voice, because the longer you wait to begin the less likely you are to find it at all.
In down times I do things like go for a long bike ride or run. The other thing I'm doing in that quiet time is just observing.
If I ever asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked a woman and been totally vulnerable.