Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world
If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.
A compliment is verbal sunshine.
Individuality' is the key to success.
Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
To exercise is human; not to is divine.
President Ford used humor a great deal.
Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.
A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
I value people with a conscience. It's like a beeper from God.
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.
Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.
An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.
There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
Here's to all volunteers, those dedicated people who believe in all work and no pay.
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
Did you ever get to wondering if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?
It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Wall Street is where prophets tell us what will happen and profits tell us what did happen.
I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
