Sometimes you believe a thing that isn't true because in the world you wish to live in, it would be true.

The trouble with having a body is that people know it's where you hang out and you don't get any privacy.

A vacation trip is one-third pleasure, fondly remembered, and two-thirds aggravation, entirely forgotten.

You spend the first two-thirds of your life asking to be left alone and the last third not having to ask.

Better to start up a thousand wrong roads than to spend your life going nowhere because you know the way.

Grammar is not a set of arbitrary rules; it is a compact between people who wish to understand each other.

There are days in retirement that are the waking equivalent of a dreamless sleep, if you know what I mean.

I respect more the person who struggles with his faith than the person who is confident in his skepticism.

What do we ask of friendship except to be taken for what we pretend to be - and without having to pretend.

We are each the star of our own situation comedy, and, with luck, the screwball friend in somebody else's.

What to do with your one life? The same thing you would do if you had two lives, and this were the second.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single happy delusion that it can be done without a stop-over.

Why try to be someone you're not? Life is hard enough without adding impersonation to the skills required.

What a unique treasure are the things we have learned to live without, for no thief can take them from us.

I have never considered it my business to disabuse someone of a belief that makes life tolerable for them.

If indeed the death of a child is part of a larger plan, you wonder if God ever considered a smaller plan.

In the end there doesn't have to be anyone who understands you. There just has to be someone who wants to.

Learn to listen. It's amazing the ideas that pop into your head while people are saying them into your ear.

There are things I have wanted so long that I would only consent to have them if I could keep wanting them.

Charisma is not so much getting people to like you as getting people to like themselves when you're around.

Looking back, you realize that everything would have explained itself if you had only stopped interrupting.

Occasionally ask, "What is the connection between what I want most in life and anything I plan to do today?

To the artist, the Book of Genesis is an account of six days in which God suggested some really good ideas.

Eventually you come to realize that most people aren't looking for a fight but for someone to surrender to.

The most valuable lesson man has learned from his dog is to kick a few blades of grass over it and move on.

Sometimes love needs a rest from caring, and so bears for an intolerable few hours the guilt of not caring.

There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.

You start making progress in life when you realize that you don't always have to resume where you left off.

Love is a condition where the world seems to be standing still, and it's you who are spinning on your axis.

I refuse to be burdened by vague worries. If something wants to worry me, it will have to make itself clear.

You always think you could have done more. That's why you need a friend - to tell you you did all you could.

In the best of relationships you have two people who cannot think of anything that was not part of the deal.

Oh, the things that go through my mind that I never say. Oh, the things I say that never go through my mind.

A paranoid thinks that sinister forces are out to get him, not realizing that they are out to get everybody.

Perchance God will pity a race that sought the better angels of its nature and found only its lesser demons.

Sometimes I sit up late with my thoughts, reluctant to fall asleep and leave my thoughts alone by themselves.

For lack of an occasional expression of love, a relationship strong at the seams can wear thin in the middle.

I find in old age that it's possible to revisit the past, the one requirement being that you come as you are.

According to science, the universe began as a swirl of gas that, as it cooled, spun off the Ten Commandments.

As a gardener, I wonder if flowers really can't speak or just exercise unfailing good judgment in the matter.

How often in life we complete a task that was beyond the capability of the person we were when we started it.

It is sad when two people turn from the paths they’re traveling, and their paths go on to cross without them.

There is no tomorrow. There is only a planet turning on its axis, and a creature given to optimistic fancies.

There is a language of love, which is to say, a truth that does not tell all and a lie that does not deceive.

An art critic is someone who hopes to see his ideas translated to canvas without having to learn how to paint.

On the sixth day, God created the artist, realizing no doubt that He had far from exhausted the uses of color.

Perhaps I have lived my life to excess, but know what — if I had it to do over again, I would overdo it again.

There is no such thing as gratitude unexpressed. If it is unexpressed, it is plain, old-fashioned ingratitude.

As a man, I've learned that there is nothing easier in married life than pleasing your wife with your cooking.

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead.

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