The totally convinced and the totally stupid have too much in common for the resemblance to be accidental.

In conlusion, there is no conclusion. Things will go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time.

Most people live in a myth and grow violently angry if anyone dares to tell them the truth about themselves.

Ye have cast out yer brothers for devils and now complain ye, lamenting, that ye've been left to fight alone.

part of the humor of living on this backward planet is listening to the hominids rationalize their predations.

Perhaps the final secret of the Illuminati is that you don’t know you're a member until it’s too late to get out.

Any model we make does not describe the universe it describes what our brains are capable of saying at this time.

Human society as a whole is a vast brainwashing machine whose semantic rules and sex roles create a social robot.

Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.

If you don't laugh at all, you've missed the point. If you only laugh, you've missed your chance from illumination.

Masturbation is not the happiest form of sexuality, but the most advisable for him who wants to be alone and think.

O how the darkness do crowd up, one against the other, in ye hearts! What fear ye more that what ye have wroughten?

Animals outline their territories with their excretions, humans outline their territories by ink excretions on paper.

[Red Dirt Marijuana] contains most of the great short stories in English that are not by Mr. Hemingway or Mr. O'Hara.

...an optimistic mind-set finds dozens of possible solutions for every problem that the pessimist regards as incurable.

Since things are moving faster and faster, we cannot afford the amount of stupidity that we used to be able to tolerate.

People who've been through our educational system, they think they're thinking, when they're just repeating like parrots.

The function of Theology? The recitation of the incomprehensible by the unspeakable to pick the pockets of the unthinking.

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind.

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.

The individual act of obedience is the cornerstone not only of the strength of authoritarian society but also of its weakness.

My goal is to try to get people into a state of generalized agnosticism, not about God alone, but agnosticism about everything.

The path up is the path down. The way forward is the way back. The universe inside is outside but the universe outside is inside.

Obviously, the faster we process information, the more rich and complex our models or glosses - our reality-tunnels - will become.

The function of law and theology are the same: to keep the poor from taking back by violence what the rich have stolen by cunning.

The Constitution admittedly has a few defects and blemishes, but it still seems a hell of a lot better than the system we have now.

Pregnancy is a kind of miracle. Especially so in that it proves that a man and woman can conspire to force God to create a new soul.

You simply cannot invent any conspiracy theory so ridiculous and obviously satirical that some people somewhere don't already believe it.

Robert A. Heinlein has been an idol to me for more than 20 years. He can do no wrong, no matter how much he loves wars and hates pacifists.

I used to be an atheist, until I realized I had nothing to shout during blowjobs. Oh Random Chance! Oh Random Chance! just doesn't cut it….

My goal is to try to get people into a state of generalized agnosticism, not agnosticism about God alone, but agnosticism about everything.

You know, I have found a new way to get high and stay spaced out for hours on end, and the government can't stop me... It's called senility.

When the rose and the cross are united the alchemical marriage is complete and the drama ends. Then we wake from history and enter eternity.

Nobody sees the obvious, nobody observes the ordinary. There are more miracles in a square yard of earth than in all the fables of the Church.

The border between the Real and the Unreal is not fixed, but just marks the last place where rival gangs of shamans fought each other to a standstill.

All Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye dominion over the entire Pentaverse, but today ye was sore afraid in dark coners, nooks, and sink holes.

The future is up for grabs. It belongs to any and all who will take the risk and accept the responsibility of consciously creating the future they want.

Certitude is seized by some minds, not because there is any philosophical justification for it, but because such minds have an emotional need for certitude.

I'm the kind of anarchist whose chief objection to the State is that it kills so many people. Government is the epitome of the deathist philosophy I reject.

The worst that can happen under monarchy is rule by a single imbecile, but democracy often means the rule by an assembly of three or four hundred imbeciles.

A monopoly on the means of communication may define a ruling elite more precisely than the celebrated Marxian formula of monopoly in the means of production.

I really dread serious people. Especially serious, dogmatic people. I regard them as sort of what Reich called the emotional plague. I regard them as very dangerous.

Mind is a tool invented by the universe to see itself; but it can never see all of itself, for much the same reason that you can't see your own back (without mirrors).

You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.

Bad critics judge a work of art by comparing it to pre-existing theories. They always go wrong when confronted with a masterpiece because masterpieces make their own rules.

My own opinion is that belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.

The easiest way to get brainwashed is to be born. All of the above principles then immediately go into action, a process which social psychologists euphemistically call socialization.

We say seeing is believing, but actually, we are much better at believing than at seeing. In fact, we are seeing what we believe all the time and occasionally seeing what we can't believe

The Bible tells us to be like God, and then on page after page it describes God as a mass murderer. This may be the single most important key to the political behavior of Western Civilization.

"Is," "is," "is" — the idiocy of the word haunts me. If it were abolished, human thought might begin to make sense. I don't know what anything "is"; I only know how it seems to me at this moment.

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