Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan!
I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.
Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!
Some of the most famous people in history never got a dinner!
I'll tell you the truth; I wanted to leave me for Sid Caesar.
There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.
Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner!
E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Jacques Cousteau, the last man to see Jimmy Hoffa. Never got a dinner!
Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.
Joan Rivers, who said to Marcel Marceau, Can we talk? Never got a dinner!
Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner!
Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner!
Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, Is all that for me? Never got a dinner!
Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!
Gandhi, who went to Wendy's and asked, "Where's the belief?" Never got a dinner!
John Wilkes Booth, who said, Sorry, I thought he was a critic. Never got a dinner!
Zsa Zsa Gabor, the only woman ever to apply for group alimony. Never got a dinner!
Crispus Attucks, who said, Don't shoot till you see the whites! Never got a dinner!
Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!
Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, You're a credit to your rice. Never got a dinner!
Adam, who said to Eve, What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got a dinner!
Nostradamus, who predicted that Billy Bailey would not come home. Never got a dinner!
Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, Why do you need an airbag? Never got a dinner!
Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!
Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner!
Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!
J. Paul Getty, who still hasn't been buried - they keep finding oil! Never got a dinner!
Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!
Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!
The Mayor of Hong Kong, who said Can't work today. Have American flu. Never got a dinner!
Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!
Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!
Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!
Noah's wife, who said to Noah, Don't let the elephants watch the rabbits. Never got a dinner!
The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!
Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, Guess who's not coming to dinner? Never got a dinner!
Eve said to the serpent, “You know I could go for a bite to eat, but I don't know you from Adam.”
Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!
Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!
Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, Are you sure all we did was kiss? Never got a dinner!
The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!
Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, For God sakes, don't scratch it! Never got a dinner!
Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?
King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!
Joseph Cotten, who said, You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me. Never got a dinner!
Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!
King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!
The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop! Never got a dinner!