Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.
Everything that wasn't invented by God is invented by an engineer.
I had been playing polo, and I decided to give up at the age of 50.
How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?
A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.
[after accepting a gift from a Kenyan woman] You are a woman, aren't you?
Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant.
What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer.
There's a cord sticking out of the back. Might you tell me where it goes?
You can't just decide you want to do this or that. You have to be invited.
I am the only man in the country not allowed to give his name to his children.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
So you are the people tearing down the Brazilian rainforest and breeding cattle.
Were you here in the bad old days? ... That's why you can't read and write then!
Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.
I don't know how they're going to integrate in places like Glasgow and Sheffield.
You were playing your instruments? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?
Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species.
You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.
It's not a very big one, but at least it's dead and it took an awful lot of killing!
We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves.
As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.
It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from school art lessons.
I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.
I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.
All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.
Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.
We live in what virtually amounts to a museum - which does not happen to a lot of people.
I've never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing.
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves.
Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.
Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don't you have a slogan: 'Kill a cat and save a bird?'
The biggest waste of water in the country by far. You spend half a pint and flush two gallons.
Everyone has to have a sense of duty. A duty to society, to their family. I mean, you name it.
"It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." He later backtracked: "I meant to say cowboys."
People say after a fire it's water damage that's the worst. We're still drying out Windsor Castle.
If anything, I've thought of myself as Scandinavian. Particularly, Danish. We spoke English at home.
We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun. You just got on with it!
In the end we must, I think, somehow conclude that they have as much right to this planet as we have.
You don't really want nonagenarians as heads of organisations which are trying to do something useful.
I have frequently been misrepresented. I don't hate the press; I find a lot of it is very unpalatable.
I must confess that I am interested in leisure in the same way that a poor man is interested in money.
They're a damn nuisance - I've got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off.
Change does not change tradition, it strengthens it. Change is a challenge and anopportunity, not a threat.
I have very little experience of self-government. In fact, I am one of the most governed people in the world.
If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.
It's my custom to say something flattering to begin with so I shall be excused if I put my foot in it later on.
In the first years of the Queen's reign, the level of adulation - you wouldn't believe it. You really wouldn't.
It's difficult to see how it's possible to become immensely valuable by singing what are the most hideous songs.
It's much better to go when you are still capable than wait until people say you're so doddery it's time you went.