Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
When my dad died, I had to go to therapy.
I feel like every time I tweet, I lose money.
I got rid of Twitter, and I got rid of Facebook.
I have no idea how to do sketches, believe it or not.
You can't say whatever you want on network television.
There are people for everybody, and luckily, I found mine.
I really wish that I was, like, strong enough to not go online.
It's not good to be lit all the time and have no clear-headed thoughts.
I feel bad for kids growing up that, like, their favorite rapper is Lil Yachty.
I get nervous all the time. The only time I'm not nervous is onstage, which is weird.
Things that I feel really sad about, I talk about. That way, if it's funny, it doesn't hurt anymore.
I just really want to do stand-up and act in stuff that I like. And do stuff that makes me really happy.
I'm the most awkward person in the world, but onstage, I'm completely fine. I could run around in a thong and not care.
I have to do stand-up. I have to do something comedy-involved every day or else I will lose my mind. I already am, but I would go more nuts.
There have been a couple of times when kids that weren't nice to me in high school are like, 'Hey, man!' And I'm just like, 'Yeah. Thank you very much.'
I don't like going out. I'm more of a watch TV, hang out, Netflix kind of guy. I don't like leaving; I don't like talking to people. It gives me anxiety.
I was the class clown in high school, but I always took it too far, so nobody liked me. I was annoying. Like, I would get a laugh and then keep going and keep going.
I'm not the first person to say this, but communication at 'SNL' - I don't want to say it's not good, but unless you ask questions, you will not know what's going on.
'SNL' has changed my career because it gave it a platform to be seen. And I really feel like the Weekend Update desk is where I am given the opportunity to shine on that show.
I started doing stand-up when I was 16, my junior year in high school. My two friends and I would sit at home watching stand-up. They kept saying I should try it, and so I did.
My jokes have definitely changed. 'SNL' has helped with that, because when you're on 'SNL,' you have to kind of pay attention to the news. I feel like my material has gotten smarter now.
I bombed so much as a standup that messing up doesn't matter to me anymore. I kind of enjoy bombing sometimes - I try and make everybody hate me more. Like, once I know it's not going well, I can just have fun.
I don't let a lot of people know about my dad dying on 9/11. It's not a way to introduce yourself. So I never told anybody, and then I would do jokes about it... and I think people thought I was lying about it. Which would be crazy!
I don't want idiots in my audience. So if me coming forward with what my beliefs are is what you need to hear to not be a fan anymore, that's great. That means next time I show up in whatever said city, your dumb ass won't be there.
I'm not making fun of it because I want to make fun of it. I'm making fun of it so I feel better. I don't want people to think any time there's a tragedy that I'm going to make a joke about it. It's only funny to me because it's personal to me. And that was always the goal. It wasn't to be this insult person.