Penn Jillette Quotes - Page 3

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If you want to turn out an atheist child, unconditional love constantly is a good way to do it.

I never wanted to be a magician. I never wanted to be a comedian. I never wanted to be onstage.

If you want to talk about magic, the stuff that blows me away is the stuff that's done close up.

I have no evidence that libertarianism leads to a better life. I just think it is morally right.

Channeling is just bad ventriloquism. You use another voice, but people can see your lips moving.

The whole world is pretending the breakthrough is in technology. The bottleneck is really in art.

I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke.

I grew up as a Christian. I suppose at some level I wanted to believe someone was watching over me.

How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do.

I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers.

I don't think I'm made of the right stuff to be a politician. I think I'm made to be a loose cannon.

Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision.

You can't believe how pro gay and pro freedom of speech I am. I'm way out beyond anyone on the Left.

Direct confrontation, direct conversation is real respect. And it's amazing how many people get that.

My whole family is missing that sports gene. I hope I didn't screw that up by marrying a great golfer.

Atheism is the absence of religion. We don’t really need atheism. We just need to get rid of religion.

The vast majority of the world knows there's no reason to circumcise. Someone should tell the doctors.

The purpose of art is to collide the intellectual and visceral together at the highest speed possible.

If I go out to dinner with you and you order wine, I leave. I won't be around drugs and alcohol at all.

It is really funny to see people that you know acting unpleasantly just because there are TV cameras on.

I will not counter the insanity of the PATRIOT Act with an overblown fear of my rights being taken away.

I don't believe in vengeance. Really, when all is said and done, I probably don't believe in punishment.

For the most part, any serious magic show is not using very much technology newer than theatrical lights.

If I were trying to avoid embarrassment, I wouldn't have stumbled my way through 'Dancing with the Stars.'

If entertainment ran grocery stores, we'd NEVER get oil cured olives or blue cheese, it would be JUST Coke.

Counterintuitive actions prove we can trust real knowledge and do the opposite of what we feel makes sense.

I've been fired from a situational comedy with a script they wrote specifically for me because of my voice.

Barack Obama is way smarter than Bush - so way, way smarter than me. Obama is way more charismatic than me.

We aren't people who believe that just because we're performers our opinions on everything need to be known.

As much as I disagreed with every second of 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' the fact that it is out made me jump for joy.

Only Atheists have morals, the religious have reward and punishment. That's not morality, that's sucking up.

I have more contact with people who consume, for lack of a better word, my product than any other performers.

If there are two things Penn & Teller stand for, it's the truth & lying, although not necessarily in that order.

A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

I believe in individual rights so much that I don't like any sort of 'what's good for the cause'-type questions.

I have a very specific definition of censorship. Censorship must be done by the government or it's not censorship.

I like to read in the dark. I like to go into the bathtub, turn out all the lights, and in the dark, read my books.

Trey Parker did 'Book of Mormon.' It's the best Broadway show I've ever seen. He does 'South Park.' It's wonderful.

My love of computers, besides being practical, is very direct and visceral. I love the way things look on the screen.

The most important part of life is work, it's the flow, it's getting stuff done, feeling like you're doing something.

We knew that we were kind of odd and creeps, and we wanted to do odd, creepy stuff for people who wanted to see that.

My parents were teetotalers and my grandparents were - it's all the way back. It's New English puritanical tradition.

I'm always surprised when the corporate world does stupid things, because they're often not very stupid in hindsight.

'Zolten' is a common Hungarian name, it's my wife's maiden name and most importantly, it's the name of Dracula's dog.

I'm a hardcore libertarian - I want everything legal - but I also believe that you have the right to free association.

In music, if you hit a wrong note, people forgive you. In magic when something goes wrong, the entire art is destroyed.

TV networks are dying. The death throes of religion give us jihads. The death throes of television give us reality shows.

When I buy Windows 98, I'm not only buying something useful, I'm giving money to Bill Gates, which is a really good thing.

I didn't learn fire-eating to conquer my fears. I learned fire-eating because I desperately wanted to be in show business.

It's only the losers named Dave that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think. They're named Dave.

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