Once you buy a prize, it's yours to keep.

I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer.

There's a difference between climate & weather, moron!

I dont' like talking to horses because they are naysayers

If I went in to pitch this show to a network, I would be laughed out of the room.

Global warming alarmists are unpatriotic racists knowingly misleading for their own ends.

That's the trouble with trying to influence an undecided voter. First you have to find one

That's the trouble with trying to influence an undecided voter. First you have to find one.

Sometimes you just stumble into something that works, and here I am a quarter of a century later.

One day, someone will get too close to the television, and I will pull them into this hell with me.

Anyone who has seen me spin that heavy, giant wheel on television knows that I'm not a steroid user

Anyone who has seen me spin that heavy, giant wheel on television knows that I'm not a steroid user.

Political pornography is not unlike the sexual kind: difficult to define, but you know it when you see it

I'm more concerned about members of Congress being drug-free than I am about members of the Yankees or Giants

I'm more concerned about members of Congress being drug-free than I am about members of the Yankees or Giants.

It seems to me we have been in a rhetorical arms race in this country, with each side unwilling to lay down its weapons for fear - usually justified - the other side would beat them to a pulp.

There is a certain comfort in waking up and finding that Michael Jackson is still the Big Story. At least it tells you that nothing horrible has happened in the world that would force them to move on to real news.

I suspect most self-described 18-year-old Scandinavian women named Inga who collect and wear string bikinis are, in reality, more likely to be middle-aged, pot-bellied guys named Lou who collect and wear string cheese.

The most important political task facing the out-of-power party - the Democrats for now - is creating a villain to run against. It's certainly easier than developing some grand new ideas or policies on which to campaign.

Being a conservative in Hollywood is like walking into a shooting range with a bull's-eye attached to your body. There are more of us than you would believe, but if you want to keep working, you feel like you have to keep quiet.

If any group of citizens is uniquely unqualified to tell someone else how to vote, it's those of us who live in the sheltered, privileged arena of celebrity hood......Trust me, one's view of the world isn't any clearer from the back seat of a limo.

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Clinton cost John Kerry more votes than he gained for him whenever they appeared together. Imagine being part of a crowd enraptured by the presence of Bill Clinton, and then having to listen to a speech by John Kerry!

There is a reason the Democrats have had only two Presidents since 1968 and have managed to lose control of both houses of Congress in recent years. There is a reason they keep snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. And it's not fraud and it's not dirty politics and it's not stupid voters. It's the plain and simple fact that the majority of those who vote don't like them.

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