P. J. O'rourke Quotes - Page 7

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People have a right to my food, a right to my housing, and a right to my good job for my decent pay.

Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it.

East Germany was so total in its totalitarianism that everything was banned which wasn't compulsory.

I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words.

I've been a New Yorker for ten years, and the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies.

In Japan people drive on the left. In China people drive on the right. In Vietnam it doesn't matter.

I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling.

Some women want the strong silent type, so they can tell him to shut up and rearrange the furniture.

'You're stupid,' is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.

America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God.

Chinese economic development has cost many American workers their jobs. That's the price of progress.

This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.

The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy.

From National Lampoon, you go directly to Saturday Night Live, because it's a lot of the same people.

In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes.

A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher.

I'm here as a radio journalist but am not even sure which part of a tape recorder takes the pictures.

I don't think anybody's really been successful with theorizing about value or creating a price theory.

We like to pile language on language. Hunter [ S. Thompson] was an influence on me, no doubt about it.

Government conspiracy? They can't even deliver our mail and it's got our address on it and everything!

The most futuristic aspect of the House of the Future was that it was made almost entirely of plastic.

In a free country, government is a dull and onerous responsibility. It is a parent-teacher conference.

Although computer-generated artificial intelligence eludes us, artificial stupidity has been perfected.

What Enron was doing, what caused investors to embrace it in a rapture of baffled awe, was hiding debt.

Once you've built the big machinery of political power, remember you won't always be the one to run it.

Bill Maher can be pretty good, except when he gets "important." Maher's all over the place politically.

The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon.

Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs.

The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt.

Wearing a hat implies that you are bald if you are a man and that your hair is dirty if you are a woman.

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.

The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle.

What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.

The typical old-fashioned diet (in the nineteenth century) was so bad it almost assembled modern dieting.

Microeconomics is about money you don't have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of.

War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not.

Everybody in America who didn't come over the Bering Strait ice bridge stole his land from somebody else.

The America's Cup is like driving your Lamborgini to the Gran Prix track to watch the charter buses race.

The motorcycle is a device created by the team of God and Darwin to rid the world of useless young males.

Call a man 'ignorant,' and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.

Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices.

Imagine having journalists in your own home and not even covering the furniture with plastic sheets first.

Never do anything to a clitoris with your teeth that you wouldn't do to an expensive waterproof wristwatch.

Normally, the job sucks but work is kinda fun, because you see your friends and flirt with girls and stuff.

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.

We should never hesitate to listen to a fool about life because life is pretty foolish as far as I can tell.

Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport -- two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner.

Whereas Rolling Stone, I just never had anything to do with them. I'd stop by the office maybe twice a year.

Detroit is beautiful - though you probably have to be a child of the industrial Midwest, like me, to see it.

As murderous industrial magnates go, Alfred Nobel is right up there with Ray Kroc, franchiser of McDonald's.

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