Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm a member of the working press; you'd think I'd know better than to listen to journalists.
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.
I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.
Art Nouveau got its inspiration from nature. The Bauhaus got its inspiration from engineering.
Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
You're never going to read 'The Wealth of Nations,' and you shouldn't, really. It's 900 pages.
Sloths move at the speed of congressional debate but with greater deliberation and less noise.
People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs.
I spent almost 25 years as a foreign correspondent, and the world's primary problem is poverty.
In the wake of Animal House, the stock briefly and quite wrongly shot up. So I love that movie.
There are no kinder or better people in the world than those who listen to you when you are 18.
[ I'm] humorist, I guess. Or really more of a reporter. A reporter who reports on funny things.
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
Veal is a very young beef and, like a very young girlfriend, it's cute but boring and expensive.
Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke
We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting.
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.
I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics.
The question nowadays is not what makes government work. The question is how do we make it stop.
In case we have to shoot Democrats. It happened during the Civil War, and it could happen again.
My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls.
I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older.
I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.'
People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.'
There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion.
Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is.
Long conversations with pals when neither you nor they have had a drink can be a test of palship.
I always thought there was some romance to that '30s leftist stuff, even though I'm a Republican.
There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily.
Who does Bill Clinton think got off the boat and stepped on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers?
Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society.
God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell.
The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.
Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry.
When politics are used to allocate resources, the resources all end up being allocated to politics.
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty.
I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer.
Whenever people tell you they are going to wipe the slate clean, it's your slate they mean to wipe.
America's grossly unfair tax system won't lead to class war. Or, if it does, the war will be brief.
Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market.
Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn't afford college to study the works of Charles Darwin.
I'm 61 years old. I'm not that fearful of the future, period. I'm not going to see that much of it.
Arguing, in the sense of attempting to convince others, has gone out of fashion with conservatives.
The wonder is that communism lasted so long. But then again, modern poetry lasted a long time, too.
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.