Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do.
Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.
There are 1.3 billion people in China, and they all want a Buick.
Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
The Three Branches of Government: Money, Television, and Bullshit
I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser.
Opinions of language are as interesting as opinions of arithmetic.
Politics is the art of achieving prestige and power without merit.
The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory.
Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics.
Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.
Sometimes you need a B-2 bomber and sometimes you need your mother.
People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
I myself am a parent in a small business. Number of employees: one.
Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent!
Satan probably wouldn't have talked so big if God had been his wife.
Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race
When a thing defies physical law, there's usually politics involved.
People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable.
The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look.
The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
Self-interest leads to honing your skills, the better to trade with.
If you think health care is expensive now, just wait 'til it's free.
The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom.
Jewishness cropped up and has never successfully been put down since.
Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad?
There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out.
There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.
There is no 20-year period in American history when stocks lost money.
Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically.
Coffee and cigarettes are much better if you want an instant breakfast.
One nice thing about making jokes is that you don't have to prove them.
Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty.
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
The Harvard Lampoon itself, which had a pretty stellar run in the '60s.
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
Worshiping the earth is more fun than going to church. It's also closer.
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.
The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite.
When I get in deep water, I prefer to announce that I'm in over my head.
Every pleasure you forgoe on Earth is a pleasure you won't get in heaven.
You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke.
Maybe the real secret to America's greatness is that we hate one another.
There's nothing more oily and cynical in politics than telling the truth.
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment.
Dating is the social engagement with the threat of sex at its conclusion.