Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I bought my first house because of Animal House.
Why is Iraq so easy to harm and so hard to help?
I'll pick "I'm kidding" anytime over "I'm lying."
Any terrorism is an attack on libertarian values.
Rahm Emanuel is, we are almost certain, a vampire.
B students work for C students - A students teach.
I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.
A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.
All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
I couldn't have gotten into Harvard with a crowbar.
You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
Humor is, by its nature, more truthful than factual.
I didn't realize what fun it was [ been a reporter].
This country was founded by religious nuts with guns.
Industrialization came to England but has since left.
I didn't see any NRA officials killing babies in Waco.
Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter.
Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
We did not become libertarians because we are altruists.
There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
A charity ball is like a dance except it's tax deductible.
Never serve oysters in a month that has no paycheck in it.
A fundamental American question is, 'What's the big idea?'
When I'm in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
On inspection, Gaudi's architecture isn't whimsical at all.
I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college.
Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool.
Civilization is an enormous improvement on the lack thereof.
Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.
Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
You can keep the dining room clean by eating in the kitchen.
We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there.
Guns are the ultimate bulwark against government misbehavior.
Jesse Jackson was spending time with his family, or families.
Of course, the humans in Haiti have hope. They hope to leave.
Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer.
Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information.
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
Fishing... is a sport invented by insects and you are the bait.
When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.
In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did.
Obama's space policy doesn't differ much from George W. Bush's.
Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they're right.
I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom.
[Michael] Moore doesn't really use his sense of humor that much.
Drugs have taught an entire generation of kids the metric system