Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
You can't get good Chinese takeout in China and Cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism.
Government does not cause affluence. Citizens of totalitarian countries have plenty of government and nothing of anything else.
There's not a woman in the book, the plot hinges on unkindness to animals, and the black characters mostly drown by Chapter 29.
Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir.
It is very hard now to shock people into thinking about government regulation and the extent of government involvement in life.
The budget doesn't have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn't have much control over the budget.
Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
A dugout is much superior to a conventional manufactured canoe because you can get soaking wet without bothering to capsize it.
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy.
The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
The laws of the marketplace are physical laws, and they don't become suspended in a crisis any more than the law of gravity does.
Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. And everything that isn't fun is dangerous too. It's impossible to be alive and safe.
Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative.
The 18,000 NASA employees are full of galactic talents and abilities and are ready to accomplish whatever they're directed to do.
No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the house.
Idealism is based on big ideas. And, as anybody who has ever been asked "What's the big idea?" knows, most big ideas are bad ones.
The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.
A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
I arrived in the middle of a press conference - as boring a thing to sit through if you don't know the language as it is if you do.
The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants.
Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself.
America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation.
Liberals have invented whole college majors - psychology, sociology and women's studies - to prove that nothing is anybody's fault.
The foundation of collectivism is simple: There should be no important economic differences among people. No one should be too rich.
In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America.
In the American political system, you're only allowed to have real ideas if it's absolutely guaranteed that you can't win an election
Like Rick in Casablanca: "We'll always have Paris." When what we'll always have is, like, Brooklyn and arguments about [Lev] Trotsky.
Good manners are a combination of intelligence, education, taste and style mixed together so that you don't need any of those things.
Who, other than a crazy person, does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances.
If the Japanese want to be taken seriously as world financial powers, they'd better quit using the same tailor as variety show chimps.
When Adam Smith was being incomprehensible, he didn't have the luxury of brief, snappy technical terms as a shorthand for incoherence.
A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century.
Women are successful in the business world because the business world was created by men. Men are babies. And women areGood With Kids.
How did an allegedly free people spawn a vast, rampant cuttlefish of dominion with its tentacles in every orifice of the body politic?
One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling.
The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
Lampoon was exactly the opposite. The work was a lot of fun, but the office environment was hell. You cannot put 20 humorists together.
When I left the Lampoon, I went west to try that out, and discovered that I hated it.They were awful people turning out awful product .
One thing talk can't accomplish is communication. This is because everybody's talking too much to pay attention to what anyone is saying
Happy hour is slightly different in the Soviet Union. There are no ice cubes or orange-peel twists in the vodka. Also, it lasts all day.
It had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation.
My generation of Americans was the first to really care about racism and sexism, not to mention the I Ching, plus, of course, the Earth.
I blame feminism and Facebook for the death of the American automobile. I'm a Republican, so I blame everything on feminism - or commies.
El Salvador has the scenery of northern California and the climate of southern California plus - and this was a relief - no Californians.
I think Michael O'Donoghue felt he'd said what he wanted to say. In fact, nobody thought we could spin it out long enough to make a book.
America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable.
My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or anything, but he was worthless.