Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
In his normal state he would not strike a lamb. I’ve known him to do it’ ‘Do what?’ ‘Not strike lambs
Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.
A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.
If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.
-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter
Jeeves, you really are a specific dream-rabbit." "Thank you, miss. I am glad to have given satisfaction.
Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.
He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence lessons.
New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to bed.
A man who has spent most of his adult life trying out a series of patent medicines is always an optimist.
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.
Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love.
It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke.
There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.
It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed.
Dark hair fell in a sweep over his forehead. He looked like a man who would write vers libre, as indeed he did.
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say 'when!'
If it were not for quotations, conversations between gentlemen would consist of an endless series of 'what-ho!'s.
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
The stationmaster's whiskers are of a Victorian bushiness and give the impression of having been grown under glass.
The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence.
It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.
One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room.
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
A lesser moustache, under the impact of that quick, agonised expulsion of breath, would have worked loose at the roots.
There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.
You are falling into your old error, Jeeves, of thinking that Gussie is a parrot. Fight against this. I shall add the oz.
...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.
Well, there it is. That's Jeeves. Where others merely smite the brow and clutch the hair, he acts. Napoleon was the same.
In all crises of human affairs there are two broad courses open to a man. He can stay where he is or he can go elsewhere.
Statisticians estimate that crime among good golfers is lower than in any class of the community except possibly bishops.
There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.
Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.
She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.
When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.