Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
It's extremely hard work keeping fresh.
I don't ever remember overcoming adversities.
All's fair if you have a really good attorney.
A handicap is only if you let it be a handicap.
My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.
I don't do the same show twice. I've never done a show word for word.
Old is when people compliment your alligator shoes, and you're not wearing any.
I think it is - the biggest plus the performer can have is to be a little unique.
If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.
Why do Canadians like to do it doggie style? So they can both keep watching the hockey game
That, to me, is what comedy is all about: keeping fresh and keeping current and changing with the times.
I've been on the 'Tonight Show' a million times, and I'd be embarrassed to do the same thing more than once.
I think it's the most wonderful thing in the world to have an identity, something the audience can remember you for.
I'm a great audience myself. I tried to keep in the background while others were on, but sometimes I'd just get hysterical.
Although I had a good job as an advertising manager for a shoe company in Boston, I really liked to fool around with comedy.
Gene Autry, Roy Rogers, Dale Evans - these people are giants, legends; their names are household words. Of course, so's Jell-O.
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
I met Elvis first in Las Vegas. I think I was appearing with Tom Jones and he came backstage to say hello to Tom or we went to his dressing room to say hello.
A young comic, if he's any good, can easily get on 'Carson' or 'Griffin' or 'Dinah Shore,' because they want to say the same thing, that they discovered the new talent.
I was the first spokesperson for the Better Hearing Institute in Washington. And that's the message we tried to send out - there is hearing help out there, and the technology and options are amazing.
Every city you go to has television and radio talk shows that are dying to give young comics a showcase. They all want to be able to say that so-and-so started here, got his first break on this show.
'USA Today' once did a big article called, 'Who said it? Was it Norm or George Bush?' They had quotes of mine and quotes of his, and they went to some congressmen and senators and said, 'Who said it?' It was hysterical.
When people have hearing loss, I think they often take that burden and pass it on to their friends and family, and we make them scream and yell at us so we can hear! But I think it's better to take responsibility and wear hearing aids!
My hearing loss was essentially due to noise exposure during my military service. I was on an anti-submarine sub-chaser in WWII, and we had lots of depth charges going off all around us. There were plenty of explosions, and they were loud!
I would watch 'The Ed Sullivan Show' and borrow a few lines here and there from guests like Red Buttons and Buddy Hackett to create a routine. Then I started getting invited to do political functions like the governor's birthday ball or mayor's dinner.
Hearing aids didn't cause any problem with my social life, my career, no problem at all, and I've been wearing them for a long time. As a matter of fact, once I became an entertainer and started working on television, I was probably the first performer to talk about hearing problems on the air.
It was a melting pot in Las Vegas. You got every age level, every ethnic background, every social aura - it was an absolute Americana audience... people who were there to celebrate occasions; people who were there to gamble; people who were there because they were awed by the whole Vegas operation. Tourists.
Teenagers don't know what love is. They have mixed-up ideas. They go for a drive and the boy runs out of gas and they smooch a little and the girl says she loves him. That isn't love. Love is when you are married twenty-five years, smooching in your living room and he runs out of gas and she says she still loves him. That's love.